What Am I Living Out Of?

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. Galatians 5:16 (New American Standard Bible)

I have often limited “the desires of my flesh” to the mere physical aspects of myself, but it is more than that. It includes my human nature and all that is within me that seeks to live independent of God. For the past few days, God has been challenging me to live out of my spirit…that part of me that lives in relationship with Him…rather than out of my mind, will, and emotions. That my actions would be a result of my connection to Him rather than in self-sufficient, self-governing ways.

I am learning to test which route I am taking. Learning to discern what is driving me in a certain direction. Recently, it has had to do with getting emotional needs met. How easily I tend to head toward my preferred sources. The simple sharing of a problem, looking for a “fix” for that empty feeling, wanting someone or something other than God to take me out of a mood, feeling, or mindset. It has been a survival skill I learned decades ago and one from which God is seeking to free me.

The pattern has usually been as follows: I begin feeling lonely, sad, or fearful. I start thinking of the people who have relieved me of those feelings in the past and I seek to make contact with them. If they are available, I can find relief for a brief amount of time. If they are not available, the feelings become more profound and the darkness sets in. The light came on for me when God helped me to see how emotionally driven I am and how the sources I am looking to are unable to take care of me on the level that I need. It is a dangerous thing for me to share my heart or problems with another person simply to find relief from any negative thoughts or feelings that wrap themselves around me.

God’s answer? Start asking Him to help me live out of my spirit rather than my flesh. Turn to Him for my comfort, answers, and healing. When I most want another person to lift me up is when I most need to seek His presence and help. There is a time and a place for people in my life. God is not telling me to step away completely from them. He is simply telling me they can no longer be my “drug of choice” amidst pain, disappointment, grief, or aloneness. What I have been convinced of for so long has not been nor ever will be His choice for me.

Father, when I most want to live out of my emotions, help me to turn to You. Help me to turn from the broken cisterns of my life to You, the living Fountain. Amen.

Dwelling Places - Don Moen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRCgBrIJ-I0&feature=related

Fixing my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith!

Clear and Not-So-Clear Directions

The word of the LORD came to Jonah the son of Amittai saying, “Arise, go to Nineveh the great city and cry against it, for their wickedness has come up before Me.” Jonah 1:1,2 (New American Standard Bible)

One of the things I see and at times stand envious of in Bible times is God’s direct message to His servants. There was no mistaking God’s call to Jonah. He was hand-picked by God for a specific mission. There was no question as to Who was sending him, where he was to go, and what he was to do. Things are not always so clear cut for us today.

I have listened to missionaries talk of God’s call on their life. At some point, they knew where it was God was sending them. From that time on they moved in that direction. Many times it takes years for them to get to the mission field but the call keeps them on course. Others know the job God would have them take. They sense His leading into certain fields. One thing is sure, once they are in the place of God’s choosing they know they are there.

There are times I want God to do the same for me! I want direction that is clear. Instructions that are understandable. I want to know that I know what He has in mind for me. But I am learning God is not tied into any one system of dealing with us as His beloved children. For some, He spells things out clearly. But for the rest of us we feel more like Abraham who knew to go but had no idea exactly where he was going. His was a daily journey of simply following God moment by moment. We might also feel like Joseph who had dreams (literally) and yet spent years wondering how they would ever come about. His circumstances did not yield proof of what was to come. Talk about a walk of faith!

In March of 2005, God gave me a verse during a time of prayer in the privacy of a motel room. It was 2 Chronicles 25:9b which says, “The LORD has much more to give you than this.” In one aspect, He has continually fulfilled those words in my daily walk with Him. But when I view it in terms of future ministry and service it becomes a test of faith. Like Joseph, my present circumstances yield no proof. I can often feel like the student at the back of the classroom waving my hand and saying, “Pick me” only to be over-looked. How easily I can put that human aspect on God and yet it is not true. He is not over looking me, ignoring me, or placing me on a permanent shelf of inactivity. He has a plan and He has impeccable timing. I may not see all that He is doing or understand His purposes but I can allow Him to develop in me a trust in Him. His Word and His hand are what I hold on to today.

Father, this journey I am on is built on faith in You. Help me to know that You will open the way for me to go. I follow Your lead. Amen.

Make Me a Servant - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rznoe3zKxM

I welcome your questions and comments to any devotional thoughts. I am honored and delighted to share my journey with you and privileged to hear of yours.

What's Missing?

But be doers of the Word [obey the message], and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves [into deception by reasoning contrary to the Truth]. James 1:22 (Amplified Bible)

I am a learner and a listener by nature. I love to hear truth and I take it in quite easily. I am also a talker and a teacher by nature and love to give out what I have taken in. When I learn something new I can’t wait to share it with others. Communication, whether written or spoken, is where a huge part of my gifting and calling reside. That is one of the reasons I enjoy writing and sending out email devotionals. Sharing with others what God is teaching me, showing me, and instilling in me is exciting even at early morning hours.

For the past five years I have been on a constant motion of learning truth and sharing truth, but God has begun to nudge me to add something that has been missing. In the midst of learning and in the midst of sharing, I am also to be DOING the very things I am taking in and giving out. If not, I am missing a big part of the whole reason to know truth. A person who is presently working with me in some personal areas, is constantly saying to me, “Practice what you preach!” She knows that real change will come as I apply and practice what I am learning. Too often, I can be like the person who learns a lot about skiing through courses, books, and instructors but has yet to put on a pair of skis and head for the slopes….let alone go down them once I am there!

When is it evident that I am not living out the things about which I am talking? When difficulties hit, when life gets hard, when emotions run wild, when insecurities surface, when failures persist, when disappointments come. What I choose to do at THOSE times reveals how much application of truth is really taking place. If my tendency is to still run to others with questions, heartaches, and hard issues, then I am not yet seeing God as my shelter, provider, protector, and counselor. If difficulties lead me to wrap myself in pity and condemnation, I have not yet begun to see God as my healer and comforter.

A first step for me is asking God to soothe me in a place that hurts. To strengthen me in a moment of weakness. To guide me in a time of confusion. Bringing each issue and emotion to Him and being a recipient of His grace, mercy, peace, and help. Learning to crawl under the shadow of His wings and knowing at that moment that I am where I belong.

Father, so often my devotionals can seem like someone else’s words. They are foreign rather than familiar to me because what I am saying is not always what I am doing when life gets hard. Help me to make Your truths a part of my every day walk. I need the change that You are offering me. Amen.

Power of Your Love - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQg6sk5B3qY

Fixing my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith!

When It Has Been Exposed

Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God. 1 Corinthians 4:5 (New International Version)

There is coming a day when all will be exposed and yet for the believer the Lord daily comes and brings to light that which is hidden in us. He pinpoints and exposes the motives of our hearts. Our reaction to what He reveals to us says a lot about our view of Him as well as our view of ourselves.

I am a hider by nature. I squirm at the thought of seeing the truth about myself especially in areas that await full healing and wholeness from the touch of His hand. That which brings me shame can often cause me to recoil in my spirit. I ache over the realization that certain aspects still mark my internal world. I long for victory yet am aware of the flaws. It is not a denial but rather a feeling of dread and disgust that fleshly tendencies still pervade and prevail. So I cower at the thoughts and cringe at the reality while sitting under a mental cloud of gloom. Not a pretty sight and not what my Father desires.

Last night, during a time of study with a friend, God revealed to me a different response to take when I come face to face with my own heart. Rather than hide, squirm, or despair, He wants me to bring the very thing I dislike in myself to Him and to ask for His grace and mercy to cover me there. That is the only way I will begin to see change take place. What I want Him to touch I must bring to Him. What I want Him to heal I must bring to Him. What I want Him to cleanse I must bring to Him. He will not be surprised by it or back away because of it.

He already knows my areas of bondage, insecurity, and emptiness. He knows the many ways I have sought to alleviate pain, fill voids, and get needs met apart from Him and how those attempts have failed. He even knows where I lack trust of Him and in Him. He sees the timidity of my steps, the shakiness of my hands, and the downward look of my eyes. In the midst of it all, hope has been ignited for I am beginning to see that the One who knows me best and loves me most stands ready to hear my cry for help. He has told me to come to Him as a child and that is exactly how I feel at the present…a mere child in dire need of His parenting.

Father, You are all about fresh beginnings and I need one now. Cover me with Your mantle of grace and mercy as I admit the truth to You and myself. I long for change. I long for You. Amen.

Sing for Joy - Don Moen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5ZWkr6RssY

He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food. Job 36:16

A Change of Scenes

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 (New International Version)

When life falls apart and leaves us in a heap, it is easy to buy into the lie that God has forsaken us, no longer watches over us, and has left us to fend for ourselves. When that deception, which was formed in hell, is birthed in our minds we are in a vulnerable and dangerous place. It is at that point when we must choose to align ourselves and our thinking with the Word of God. What a different picture we get from today’s verse. Not one of a distant, departed God, but one of a close, caring, involved God. One who stands closer than any person is able to stand. One whose arms can embrace us more fully than any arm of flesh. One who can save, deliver, and make victorious in ways that people cannot.

I don’t say these things lightly. I know by experience the help that can come from people. God has used significant individuals to help me through some of my darkest times spiritually as well as emotionally. I don’t take lightly their being the hands and heart of Jesus to me when I was broken, crippled, shattered, and spent. They were both needed and appreciated. They were God-sent and I thrived under their care.

With that thought in mind, I am even more touched by the fact that God stands close as well. The people He uses are not “stand ins” for Him, but rather partners with Him. It is a group effort being displayed. I trust each person reading this has experienced that at least once in their life.

Having said that, I am aware of how easy it is to focus on the nearness of people and fail to notice the nearness of God in times of crises. When we do so, we are only seeing a small piece of the picture. God is tenderly enlarging that picture for me this morning. As I view scenes in my mind of being comforted by individuals, Jesus is entering the scene and actually changing the it. He wants me to see that He is always close and from time to time brings another person into the picture. As the people change and the scenes change He stays the same. Never leaving. Never uninvolved. Never unaware. Never unavailable. The people will be there for as long as He chooses to have them there but when they are sent elsewhere, He remains close.

Father, it wasn’t that You weren’t there, it was that I didn’t notice You. Keep me aware of Your closeness whether I stand alone or in the presence of others. Help me to see You as my very present help at all times. Amen.

My Help
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgQd-6uRxiQ&feature=related

Fixing my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith!

A Key to Witnessing

At that very moment she came up and began giving thanks to God, and continued to speak of Him to all those who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem. Luke 2:38 (New American Standard Bible)

Have you ever tried to tell somebody something they were not ready to hear or were not interested in? Maybe they didn’t see their need for what you were suggesting. They might have even resisted to your words. Now while some people may love the challenge of convincing people of certain things, I personally am uncomfortable with the technique. It doesn’t matter what the topic is, I would much rather speak to someone who is already showing interest in what I have to say. It is the difference between a captive audience and a hostile crowd.

It took me decades to realize a truth about witnessing to others about Christ. I had the mistaken idea that it was my job to get them interested, convince them of their need, and somehow “win” the argument. The thought of witnessing was daunting and not the least bit pleasurable. I hated the thought of pressuring someone into something. What I have come to realize is found in today’s verse. Anna spoke to those who were already looking!

This is not to say I shouldn’t be sowing seeds into conversations but I have found joy in asking God to show me when something is said in a conversation that reveals a searching heart. God is the One who prepares the hearts to begin searching for Him. He may use the thought of death, the emptiness of their life, tragedies, or any number of hardships. But something makes its way into their minds and they begin looking for God. We are told in Scripture to be ready to give an answer to everyone who asks a reason for our hope. And people will ask! They will want to know. And when you see that in them the witnessing becomes an experience you will not believe.

The two most significant decisions I made for Christ came not because I was confronted or pressured but because my heart had been made ready to start searching. Both times God had begun working privately in me years before the people who had the answers were brought across my path. When that finally happened I had no trouble receiving their words.

Father, lead me to the ones You have prepared and who are searching for You. I recognize that work because it was true in my own life. Amen.

People Need the Lord
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSN9m1BH4mM&feature=related

Fixing my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith!