Saying and Hearing the Right Thing

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29 (New American Standard Bible)

It is easy to look at this verse as a guide for how I communicate to others and I would do well to use it as such. But this morning God is encouraging me to see myself as the hearer of my own words. His desire is that I make sure what I tell myself is edifying and graceful. Lately I have noticed how often that is not the case and God has graciously been showing me why and how to remedy it.

Unedifying and ungracious words are rooted in the view I have of myself. When I fail to see myself separate from my sin and weaknesses my attitude becomes critical and unloving. It is the exact opposite of hating the sin but loving the sinner. I have heard that phrase many times but was at odds with how to make it a reality and apply it to myself.

God used something I had read in a book to help me see that I build my identity on the worst aspects of myself. The things I do become grounds for believing I am a disgusting, unlovable, unwanted, and undesired person. When fully fostered they result in the thinking that if someone were to really know me and really know what I am like on the inside they would have more than enough reason to walk away and they would leave me. So I learned to keep enough hidden that the people I care the most for wouldn’t leave. It is a cycle that God desires to break and I am getting the first taste of freedom.

He used two things to help me see truth. First, an accountability partnership wherein I committed myself to honesty. Over the course of two years, God brought about a question that my accountability partner would ask that forced me to admit what was really going on inside of me. When I had been through a season of dark moods she would ask, “What triggered it?” The answer exposed my heart and when that happened there was an indescribable freedom and peace that followed. It also allowed me to experience a relationship whereby this individual knew the worst parts of me and chose not to walk away. What a reflection of God’s character. The more I saw that, the more I was able to be honest and open.

The second thing God has used is the realization that my sins and weaknesses do not make me a disgusting person. They are to be hated and dealt with but I am to see myself as a beloved, cherished daughter of God. It is wrong to hate what God cherishes. God is letting me know that as I learn to hate my sin but cherish who I am in Christ, I will begin to have the same ability to demonstrate that toward others.

Father, thank you for one who chose not to walk away and for helping me to see the roots of my own condemning thoughts. I am a recipient of Your love and work. Keep showing me my pathway to freedom. Amen.

Who Am I - Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q

I welcome your questions and comments to any devotional thoughts. I am honored and delighted to share my journey with you and privileged to hear of yours.