The Heart of the Matter

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9 (New King James Version)

God answers Jeremiah’s question for me in Isaiah 66:18 when He says, “I know their works and their thoughts.” My mental imaginations, thoughts, schemes, and purposes are an open book before God. He clearly sees every aspect of my inclinations and determinations. Therefore, it is imperative that I go to Him for self revelation. Otherwise I will live in a state of deception and denial. While there are times I am relieved that God knows when my motives are pure behind my words and actions, there are other times I have to poise myself to allow Him to reveal to me when that is not the case.

This morning I am aware of the numerous wrong motives that often drive me to do the things I do. Part of that list includes pride, fear, confusion, doubt, and an endless desire to have needs met and appetites satisfied. God always requires truth in the inward parts and I am humbled when I stand before the mirror of His Word and see the reflections of what I often want to hide from Him, myself, and others. When this searching is done with a teachable spirit and an awareness of His unfailing love it abounds with repentance, forgiveness, growth, and joy. But if the enemy of my soul is allowed to be a part of it there is shame, condemnation, and self loathing. I have no trouble distinguishing the difference between the two.

For me, this journey has been strewn with victory as well as defeat. There are times I walk in truth and times I embrace lies. There are times I run to God alone and times I crawl into the security of people. I don’t always do it right and don’t always get it right. In spite of it all and by the sheer grace of God I see progress. I close with a portion of the song FALLING FORWARD written by David Hamilton and Tony Wood.

There are moments on this journey if you ask me how I feel,
It seems I’m moving backwards or at least just standing still.
When I’m frozen in my failure, there’s a whisper,
“Don’’t forget!
Your Redeemer somehow uses even what you most regret.”
Step by Step, day by day, I’m completely undone by the miracle of grace,
And I’m amazed, so amazed.
Even when I fall I’m falling forward.

Father, in my weakness I have Your strength and in my seeking You are found. This heart of mine that You know so well is held in the palm of Your hand. I rest in that this morning. Amen.