Friday, April 23, 2010

Finding My Way Back


Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]. Proverbs 18:21 (Amplified Bible)


If the power of life and death are in the tongue, surely the engine for that power is our mind. The words we choose to use and indulge in are cooked in the kitchen of our thoughts. What we speak and what we think on are vital and result in life or death to our spirit, our circumstances, our outlook, and our internal world.

I’ve seen first hand the killing effect of wrong thoughts and wrong words. My mind gets clouded with negative, hopeless thoughts and the longer I indulge those thoughts the more powerful their grip is. Afterwards I find it hard to believe how dark it gets. I cannot see any positive aspect of my walk with God and that sends me into a place of fear. Fear that all is lost. Fear that the journey I have been on is leading to a dead end. Fear that connection with God is not a reality for me. Fear that I am no better off than I was in the throws of legalism. Fear that I will never get it right or keep it right.

When it passes and I prepare for a new day, I look back on the darkness and I pick out the valuable jewels of truth that are available to me. One truth is that what I choose to think on and accept as believable is what will dim the light in me and cause all to seem dark and lost. I cannot afford to think on what will bring about death to my feelings, emotions, and spirit. When I do I pay a price and the price is enormous. Another truth is that even in my darkness God still has His eye and hand on me. He does not step away during my times of struggle. He does not roll His eyes and say, “Here we go again!” Instead, He begins to woo me back to Himself with full confidence that I will once again find Him. Another truth is that returning to a place of safety with Him is always possible. He does not force me to stay any longer in the darkness than I am willing to stay. It always astounds me that while entering a dark time can be gradual, coming out of it can be so instantaneous.

I cannot get back the time I’ve lost when I lived without the peace and joy God always desires for me. I am, though, the richer for it because of the lessons I have learned. Today I choose to live under the canopy of His love and grace rather than the cloud of regret over past choices.

Father, sometimes it gets dark but You lead me back into the light of Your presence. You calm my fears and settle my heart. I feel the hold You have on me and within that hold I am safe. Amen.

The Protector of My Soul - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRyPKdHmwB0

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.