Teach Me

Teach me what I do not see. Job 34:32 NASB

I spotted this verse yesterday and it has remained with me and come to my mind numerous times. It has quickly become the cry of my heart. Any time I go through a difficult circumstance or situation there are things I do not see, understand, or comprehend. Things about God and things about myself. Areas of my life begin to resemble a huge jigsaw puzzle with countless missing pieces. I walk with more questions than answers. The pain outweighs the joy. It is then that I realize that if God does not begin to teach me the things I am blind and ignorant to I will be stuck in a place from which I desperately want to escape.

Today was a day of needed revelation. God knows there is an area of profound sadness that continues to house itself within me. He knows I want release and freedom. I have confided in a small handful of people the details of an ongoing heartache. They have listened with compassion and offered healing words of wisdom. I have been reading a book by Sheila Walsh entitled The Heartache No One Sees. It is filled with messages I need at this time. Messages that have come out of her own broken story. I have realized God’s purpose in allowing this particular hurt to come into my life. I have sensed God’s presence and provision to help me go from one day to the next. But I could not understand after all that why the sadness remained. So I asked Him to teach me what I could not see.

His answer stunned me. He let me know the healing of my heart was not going to come from the taking in of more knowledge. It will not instantaneously happen when I finally get the last “puzzle piece” of information. The healing will come from His hands. It will be His doing and it will take time. Just as in surgery and recuperation there is pain involved and felt, so in the lessons and heartaches of life. The fact that I feel pain and sorrow does not mean I am not still on a journey with Him and it does not mean He is not working in me. It simply means I am human. If I am cut I will bleed and if I am deeply hurt I will ache. The deeper the hurt, the more profound will be the healing. The greater the death in an area the more miraculous the resurrection.

Two things I desire above all other things. That I would come through this knowing God in ways I never knew before and ministering to others as a result of my own broken story and places. May it not be in vain and may it not be unprofitable in His kingdom work.

Father, I once again look to You to do in me what I cannot do myself and no one else can do for me. Hold me, help me, and heal me. Amen.