Not Knowing Ahead of Time

Then the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe Me, to hallow Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them.” Numbers 20:12 (New King James Version)

Moses’ disobedience led to dire consequences. The disobedience? Failing to glorify God in the eyes of the nation of Israel. The consequences? Not being allowed to lead that nation into the promised land. Had Moses known this would be the case when God first called Him to be Israel’s leader he would not have been ready to hear it and most likely would have declined even taking the first step toward that leadership. But when the time came for Moses to see the later picture, God had brought him to the place of being ready for it. I am reviewing Bible characters in my mind and seeing that outside of Jesus Himself, none of them knew ahead of time the full scope of what they were getting into at the start of their journey. They were not told ahead of time but when they finally were told they had been fully prepared.

Several years ago, I accepted the invitation to join a friend in an accountability relationship. When I look back at what it was like at the start I am amazed at how much the Lord has transformed it over time. What it looks like now does not even resemble in the slightest what it looked like then. The reason for that is simple…..I would not have been able to handle knowing what was coming. The ground work had not been laid. Trust had not been established. God knew that and built that into the process. Over the course of several years I learned the necessity to be honest and I learned this was a safe person. In the beginning I needed lots of assurance and encouragement. I still do to a point. My emotions were fragile and my trust was shaky. They still are but not as much.

Yet, last night I experienced a confrontation of truth I needed to hear. While I was told I was wrong I was assured I was loved. I was given time to process what I had been told and time to let down my resistance to change my attitude. When it was all said and done, I experienced the joy of looking this individual in the eye and thanking her for nudging me to take a step toward emotional maturity. This morning I rejoice that God had me ready when it came time to know. He also had my friend ready to take the uncomfortable step of being the confronter. It is not a role she would have gladly embraced at the start. He graciously helped us both to turn a relationship corner and I trust Him to continue to do this time and time again……as He makes us ready.

Father, get me ready for each moment of truth and for each truth teller who will speak it. Amen.

Please Come - Kathy Troccoli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcCkK_FW0mA

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

I Still Miss Her

In March of 2000, I sat in the balcony at my church and took in the fact that I would soon be facing my first Mothers' Day without my mom.

She had been killed in a car accident after suffering a heart attack the previous February. I still remember the profound ache and extraordinary loss that enveloped me. Physically I felt like someone had taken a piece of barbed wire and shoved it into my chest...then proceeded to twist it. My mom who was so full of life. The one with whom I could laugh the hardest. The one I took after in so many ways. The one with whom I enjoyed Christian fellowship for the last 14 years of her life. The one who over came her alcoholism but struggled with depression. The one who loved me and cheered me on in life. The one who adored my children. Gone. Heaven held her and I couldn't get to her.

It was that day in March when the Lord gave me a poem which I would like to share with all of you. Written with my mom in mind, I now dedicate it to all of you who have lost your mothers or know someone who has....whether years ago or recently. While my personal pain and sorrow have subsided and good memories have replaced them, my heart goes out to any who face a difficult Mothers' Day this year. God bless you and may His presence be your comfort.

I Still Miss Her

It seems like only yesterday
I sent a Mother’s Day card away.
I didn’t think it would be the last,
I signed it with love and mailed it fast.
Now that she has gone away,
It doesn’t feel like Mother’s Day.
There are no more chances to send a card,
To ship some flowers, to make a call.
There’s no more thanking her for all she’s done.
No more visits,
No more fun.
I cannot hug her or kiss her cheek.
I cannot even share a laugh.
It all too quickly became the past.
I took each visit with her for granted.
I thought there’d always be more to come.
The camera lies still now
From her use and mine.
All the pictures have been taken,
All the memories have been made.
All the words have been spoken,
All the letters have been mailed.
The thing I miss the most of all
Has got to be her voice
Whether on the telephone or talking face to face.
I’d wish for one more conversation either here or at her place.
I know I’ll see her again some day,
We’ll share the sights of heaven.
We’ll talk, we’ll laugh, we’ll hug,
We’ll kiss….it’ll be Mother’s Day once more.
But until then I’ll be a mom for Mother’s Day instead of
Being a daughter.


Pam Shattuck
March, 2000

I Sure Miss You - Crabb Family
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oet_Avo79CQ

I welcome your thoughts.