The Possibility of Forgetting

Joseph named the firstborn Manasseh, "For," he said, "God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father's household." He named the second Ephraim, "For," he said, "God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction." Genesis 41:51, 52 (New American Standard Bible)

The naming of Joseph’s son gave voice to the truths he had come to embrace. I don’t know how long he harbored painful memories of loss and betrayal. I don’t know how often thoughts of his father and the ache of missing him consumed him. I don’t know how frequently his brothers’ actions and attitudes against him reopened wounds of sorrow, anger, and frustration. Yet at some point, Joseph came to the realization that those things no longer hung over his life, clouded his days, or colored his perspective. By the time his sons were born he had truly moved on with his life. No longer dwelling on the past but rather enjoying the beauty of the present. Joseph’s story refreshes my spirit. It reminds me that emotional healing takes time but is possible. It redirects my thinking toward what God is doing. It assures me that God can do the same in me that He did in Joseph.

Although I am not fully there yet, I rejoice in what progress has been made. The enemy of my soul knows this as well and doesn’t give up easily. As recent as yesterday thoughts came that had but one purpose…..to discourage me. My mind began thinking back on painful memories and profound losses. Each minute spent dwelling on those things caused the dull ache inside to grow. When I would fight the thoughts with truth, thanksgiving, and praise their effect and hold lessened. When I gave in to them and fed off them the darkness resurfaced. It doesn’t take long for me to realize when the thinking is once again off track, because it is accompanied by grief, heartache, condemnation, and hopelessness. At the same time, thinking on what is right and truthful is accompanied by peace, restfulness, and strength. It is as profound as switching on the lights in a darkened room.

I don’t know how close I am to being able to say, “God, you have made me to forget my trouble and you have made me fruitful in the place of my affliction,” but it no longer seems like an impossibility. It is no longer a question of “if” God will deliver me from rampant emotions, but rather “when.”

I take that thought with me into a weekend that includes attending a women’s conference in Crown Point, Indiana. God has been preparing me to hear something I have not been able to hear up to this point. I am not sure what it is yet but I am filled with anticipation and expectation.

Father, I sense Your continued work in my life and in that I rejoice! Amen.

Desert Song - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrJuFmuAGo4

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Continuing in Freedom

Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, “Cursed is the man who does not heed the words of this covenant which I commanded your forefathers in the day that I brought them out of the land of Egypt, from the iron furnace, saying, ‘Listen to My voice, and do according to all which I command you, so you shall be My people, and I will be your God.’ Jeremiah 11:3,4 (New American Standard Bible)

When God brought the children of Israel out of the ‘iron furnace’ of Egypt it was not the end of their story….it was merely the beginning. He brought them out of bondage to teach them how to live in freedom. True freedom comes through obedience and connection with God, not living independent of Him. Seeing their own captivity and being freed from it was wonderful but if they did not continue to listen to God and do what He said they would enter a worse bondage… a self imposed bondage. They would become captives of their own passions, sin natures, and ungodly bents. To read the history of Israel is often like looking into a prophet mirror at ourselves.

Like Israel, my freedom comes in stages. I must be aware of where I am in bondage. What are the mindsets that prevent me from living in complete freedom? What are the addictions, habits, and beliefs that keep my soul locked up? As I identify them, I desire freedom. But desire alone is not what sets me free. My journey to freedom begins and continues as I learn to listen to God and embrace what He tells me. I must acknowledge the truth and live out of that truth.

As I allow Him, God shows me the causes and effects of my personal areas of bondage. I am daily seeing the connection between present circumstances and past events. Because my view of life and God was skewed early on, it affects the way I interpret things today. For me, the biggest area this has impacted is with relationships. I have spent decades looking at relationships through a faulty grid and the result has often been painful. What I desire from others and what I am able to give to others is distorted unless I allow God to bring things into right focus. It becomes a time of exchanges. Exchanging truth for lies and freedom for bondage. The renewing of my mind through Scripture is leading to transformation of my heart and resulting in a change of my words, actions, and thoughts. The freedom I am seeking is only found in cooperation with and trust in my Abba Father.

Sometimes this process is accompanied by individuals God brings into my life but often it is taking place one on one with Himself. He wisely determines which it will be. I profit the most when I trust what He is doing, heed what He says, embrace what He reveals, and obey what He requires. It all comes from His heart of love and in that I rest!

Father, I desire liberty of my heart, soul, and mind. Continue to show me my own captivities and what will lead me to freedom. Amen.

Made Me Glad - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0Zc_VWJJoI&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

What to do With the Toxic Thoughts

Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2 (New American Standard Bible)

My mother would often say, “You can only think of one thing at a time.” She was right! God’s Word is filled with verses that speak of the importance of meditating on the right things. Today’s verse is one such example. It not only has the idea of focus but also of coming into agreement with. Since a multitude of thoughts play out in my mind daily, it is imperative that I keep them aligned with God and His eternal perspective. There is more to life than merely those things I can experience with my five senses. In the midst of anything I see, feel, or experience, there is a heavenly realm that must be taken into consideration. I must learn to see the whole picture instead of just my limited point of view.

Last night afforded me an opportunity to practice setting my mind on things above. It came in the form of disappointment that someone was given the opportunity to do something I am longing to do but am not able to do at present. I found myself battling thoughts of jealousy as well as feelings of being over looked AGAIN! Fear abounded that God might never open the door for me to serve in THAT capacity. They were self-consuming, self- centered, self-condemning thoughts and they were toxic for all of 10 minutes. That is when I made a conscious decision to review truth and allow it to set me free.

What was the truth I reviewed? God is in control of my life. He has plans for me that He will fulfill. I can trust Him to use me in the ways He chooses at the times He chooses and for the purposes He chooses. He knows what He is doing in each ministry opportunity. I have not been over looked but rather His eyes and attention are constantly on me. My freedom comes in acknowledging God’s right to say where I am to be, what I am to be doing, and how I am to be doing it. He sets the agenda. He maps out the course. He guides and directs. His plans and thoughts are higher than my own.

Do I still have desires and wishes? Absolutely! But they are being laid at the foot of the cross with a heart of submission to and acceptance of what God wants for me. I don’t want to live my life honed in on what I cannot do but rather on all that He allows me TO do. He may still choose to have me serve Him in the place I desire to serve, but it will have to be on His time table. If it never comes about then it was not part of His best for me. I am not being neglected or ignored. I am being loved, cherished, and led by the Lover of my soul!

Father, You know my heart’s desires. As I set my affections on things above, change what needs to be changed, solidify what needs to be solidified, and accomplish Your will for me. Amen.

God Is In Control - Twila Paris
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQHlKc8DrB4&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Asking for Prayer

I urge you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me. Romans 15:30 (New International Version)

Paul had no trouble requesting others to pray for him. It wasn’t that he felt his prayers were not good enough or effective enough but he knew the power of multiple prayers being lifted on his behalf. As he faced prison, persecution, personal failures, and fears he was strengthened by the prayers of others and in turn prayed for others for the things they faced as well.

Prayer support is one of the many privileges and benefits of being in God’s family. It is usually one of the first responses we voice when someone has shared with us a difficulty in their life. When the storms of life hit, prayer is our life line that keeps our head above water with its hope, security, and comfort. The older I get, the more I value the prayers of others and no longer take them lightly.

I know this to be true and yet how well am I doing at requesting prayer during emotionally difficult times? Or times when I am facing personal temptations that I don’t even want to admit I are a struggle for me? Last week, I went through a dark season. People could see it and they indeed were praying for me, yet I was not doing well at actually sharing the struggle with them or the specifics of what I needed the prayers for. I was resistant to admit what had brought on the spiral and the thoughts that kept pulling me downward. Why? Embarrassment and shame….two effective tools the enemy of my soul is very good at using. Looking back now I realize if I had opened up to those I could trust, they would have been able to be more specific in their prayers and the darkness would have ended sooner. As hard as it would have been, as uncomfortable as it would have felt, admitting the truth would have been my first step for freedom and strength.

God used a situation last night to help me see the need to request specific prayer at the on set of struggles. I could sense a temptation coming on that I knew would pull me down if I gave in to it. Before the temptation gained strength or momentum, I called a friend, shared the specifics, and we prayed immediately. The result? This morning the temptation no longer looms over my horizon. So I am asking myself, will the next emotional battle be fought more effectively if I follow the same strategy? Will I see deliverance and victory more powerfully demonstrated as I confide in those whom I know care and will pray? I believe I will and I am asking God to give me the grace, wisdom, and fortitude to so!

Father, break down the resistance in me for sharing honestly and openly with the prayer partners in my life. Help me to set aside the fears, apprehensions, and perceptions that often stop me from voicing my prayer needs to others. Help me to get real! Amen.

I Will Pray for You - Katherine Jenkins
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ju8cy0O4S8U&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Choosing the Good Part

But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41, 42 (New American Standard Bible)

Jesus’ words to Martha were timely and timeless. They followed an invitation into her home and preparations of a meal. In the midst of her “service” for Him, He pin-points an area in her life that needs a reality check. While her hospitality was commendable it was filled with distraction, worry, and bother. I picture her with frayed nerves and ever rising frustration. She reached out for the one thing she thought would be her answer for ease. She asked the Lord to give her the help of her sister. Instead, the Lord gave her an example to follow. Jesus wanted her to see there was a difference between inviting Him into her home and spending time with Him. Martha had a choice to make. Become offended by His answer or learn from it.

Many of us have been where Martha was. Busy “doing” for our Lord with very little “being” with our Lord. Activity fills our life with very little time to sit at His feet and listen to His words to us. While we have the religion of Christianity down pat, we flounder at the relationship aspect. How do you know when that is the case for you?

There is a lack of joy in what you are doing. You house critical attitudes toward others. Your inner world is filled with turmoil and frustration. You feel disconnected from intimately knowing Him. You are on a high mode rather than a rest mode. You sense you have lost a necessary balance in your life. Your activities have left you with very little time to be in the Word or in prayer. When it is all said and done the emptiness is profound.

The answer? Ask God to show you the truth and how to choose the good part of spending time with Him. Not just moments in the morning, but practicing His presence and hearing His voice throughout the day. Give up the “list” for lessons at His feet. Ask Him to make the “doing” an out growth of “being” with Him.

If what you have read today, strikes a chord with you, I understand, for I have been there. Three decades of doing! I found a place at His feet nearly six years ago and now know the preciousness of the good part….it’s Him! It hasn’t left me with nothing to do but rather has impacted and energized me while I do it.

Father, You have engaged my heart once again. May being in Your presence continue to be my passion and place. Amen.

Heart of Worship - Matt Redman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZgPPmtZgS4

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

To Tell the Truth

Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another. Ephesians 4:25 (King James Version)

There are times when speaking the truth to others comes easily for me and then there are times when I cringe at the thought. The worst moments for me are when I am struggling emotionally and someone asks me how I am doing. Or they say something like, “Are you okay?” They can see by the blank stare, lack of energy, and silence that something is amiss. They ask out of true concern and yet I end up giving not only a somewhat believable excuse but an out and out lie. Tonight it was, “Just tired. Worked over-time. Long day.” The truth? I was losing a battle of my mind and didn’t want to admit my problem.

Why is it so hard to be honest and open with people? Why is it so hard to tell them the truth when they ask? The answers are as multi-layered as the questions. Shame, fear of losing face, pride, fear of their opinion of me plunging, and ultimately fear of being found out to be less than they think I am. It is the same scenario played out when we don’t want to admit wrong doing on our part.

I can understand Adam and Eve’s attempt to hide when their sin was exposed. Or Achan’s act of hiding stolen goods and then denying it until the very end. Or Aaron blaming the children of Israel for the calf that he himself had fashioned when confronted about it. I understand. I relate. I opt for the same choices when asked how I am doing. Some would say it is no big deal but to God telling the truth IS a big deal.

So what am I to do once I have been dishonest with my answers. Confess it to God for one. Then do what I did a moment ago. Pick up the phone, call the person I spoke to, and apologize. She was gracious and forgiving. Said she knew I wasn’t telling her the whole story and offered to pray for me. Then determine that by God’s grace I will follow His principles of honesty the next time this scenario plays out. Then move on.

Father, I lost a number of battles this evening and yet I stand forgiven. Thank you that your forgiveness will always outnumber my sin. Amen.

What Sin? - Morgan Cryar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaMIeOKQVDs&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Changing the Unchangeable

Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil. Jeremiah 13:23 (New International Version)

There are certain things in my life that I am able to change and I praise God for those experiences. My weight has been one such change. It was simply a matter of eating less and moving more. While the number on the scale and clothing sizes went down, I was encouraged. Yet, I find what hasn’t changed (for good) are poor eating habits that have remained. The ability to binge eat is still very much a part of my journey. As much as I want the desire for junk food to subside, it lies just below the surface on many days.

The ability to live life without being in contact with a former mentor has been a change I have seen. Yet, once again, just below the surface are issues I still wade through on a daily basis that remind me that internal, lasting changes have yet to be realized. Spiraling into dark moods and the accompanying behavior still find their way into my weeks. I resolve to do better, and at times succeed. But the failures out number the victories more often than not. The same is true of emotional dependency issues. While I can occasionally modify my behavior, the internal changes still elude me. They are the “skin of the Ethiopian” and the “spots of the leopard” in my life. Unchanging and unchangeable if left on my own.

If that were the end of the story, I would be in trouble. Hopelessness and helplessness would over whelm me and an attitude of futility would quickly set in. That is not the case, though. Rather than allow these areas to discourage me, I can use them to remind me of how truly dependent I must be on my Heavenly Father. Paul’s words of “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” are meant for me. The God of the impossible resides within me in the form of the Holy Spirit and He is the basis for the changes I desire. While I have steps of obedience to take, the actual change is by His hand not my determination. I have fallen flat on my face too many times to assume it is possible through my strength alone.

So where does real, lasting change come from? It is the collective effect of spending time in God’s Word, yielding to His Spirit, renewing my mind, walking in the truth, taking in the wisdom from others, being teachable, and trusting God to complete what He has started in me. While my flesh will always give me trouble in this life, the impact and effect it has on me does not have to continue to be as profound. Through Christ I can experience different actions and attitudes. If I compare who and what I am today to who and what I was a year ago, I can see the changes that have come. Progress is slow much of time but it continues. Christ in me….my hope for continued change.

Father, I so often see the failures while You celebrate the victories. Help me to see that through Christ change will come….slowly but surely! Amen.

Change My Heart, Oh, God
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUjUvoynGMM

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.