Thursday, February 28, 2008

Failed Attempts at Satisfaction


As they had their pasture, they became satisfied, and being satisfied, their heart became proud, therefore they forgot Me. Hosea 13:6 (New American Standard Bible)

Satisfaction is derived when our needs and desires are fulfilled and we are gratified. And yet there is a danger when we have managed to reach that point through external means. Even when the very thing that is satisfying us came because of the graciousness of God. For it is at that point that we can very easily forget how much we need God. Troubles, depravation, rejection, and heartache make us profoundly aware of our need for God. Over abundance, comfort, and ease cause us to forget.

I find that the longer I am on this journey with God the more prone I am to pray, “Father, if it will cause me to forget You, turn from You, or live independent of You, don’t allow anything or anyone to satisfy me.” Sometimes the very thing I am looking to satisfy me is really an attempt to anesthetize myself from facing my own emptiness, pain, and sorrow. Those were things I wanted to avoid at all costs because I did not realize the simple truth that they were meant to bring me to the One who could actually heal, restore, and transform me.

God knows the one thing we are looking to for satisfaction. Be it material things, relationships, social status, individual accomplishments, education, etc… He loves us too much to allow it to become our “savior.” For a time it might work but eventually we find it is just a bandage on the gaping wounds of our soul.

For me it was relationships. I did not know all that I was looking for other individuals to do for me but I was on a search. Certain people could put me on a “high” and internal problems no longer seemed to exist. Little did I know their availability kept me from entering a deep, personal relationship with my heavenly Father. I was living with the illusion that everything was okay! God knew it was necessary to reveal the truth to me. He had to help me see the problem was not that I had problems. The problem was with whom I was turning to alleviate the pain, fill the void, and escape the truth. Out of love He has removed sources in order for me to finally turn to Him. I now admit life hurts but I am finding that God heals.

Father, thank you for not allowing true satisfaction to come from any other source besides Yourself. I praise You that the attempts failed. That in turn has led me straight to You. Amen.