A Productive Process

You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God…you will be called ‘My delight is in her’…for the LORD delights in you…as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so your God rejoices over you. Isaiah 62:3-5

In the summer of 2004 I came across this passage for what seemed like the first time. I had been on my journey for barely five months and this is what I journaled at the time…

It touches my heart and blows my mind that God sees me as a crown in His hand. Something of worth, value, and beauty. Someone He cherishes, loves, delights in, and rejoices over. May He steal my heart and keep me in awe of such wonder. His love and gentleness are foreign to me. I have viewed Him as tolerant of me at best. I was satisfied if I wasn’t offending Him in any way but I never dared to dream that He would actually extravagantly love me. Slight interest but not delight and rejoice over me. Slave master and harsh judge but not gentle, caring Abba Father. My view of Him has been distorted like bad reception on a tv. But through His Spirit, Word, and gentle touch He will bring Himself into right focus for me.

At that time, I was just beginning to catch a glimpse of the truth about God and His love for me. I longed for the picture to be clear and truthful. I wanted to see myself through His eyes. Now, almost two years later this passage does not seem foreign to me anymore but it still arrests the deepest part of me as I drink in words like delight and rejoicing. As I daily take in His message to me I become the recipient of His smile, His encouragement, His touch, and His delight.

I cannot point to an exact time when God finally convinced me of the truths of His love. It was a process much like a metamorphosis. I began reading His Word and devouring books that taught me the truth about His love for me. Over the course of months the truth began to sink in. The fog of my soul was beginning to clear away and what I saw was breath taking.

He is not finished with me yet. There are still lies and distortions He wants to reveal and heal. But what He has done so far is beyond what I at one time thought was possible.

Father, you continue to amaze me with the truths of Your heart. The more I see the more I hunger. Show me, convince me, change me. Amen.