Selective Speech

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

For years I would look at this verse and see a good guard for my conversations. It was warning me about what to say and what not to say to the people in my life. In a nutshell, I was to build others up not tear them down. This morning God is nudging me to apply the same truths to myself. He is prompting me to examine my own speech toward myself. How gracious are my words that I speak to myself? How hard am I being on myself? How many put downs am I directing toward myself?

I spent this past weekend with a dear friend. We hadn’t seen each other for over 23 years! How amazing that our conversation could pick up right where we had left off. Much was discussed, savored, and taken in. Much was shared on a deep heart level. Issues abounded….answers were given. At moments, laughter erupted. At other moments we could be close to tears. But one thing that stands out in my mind as I review our conversation is how both of us could be so hard on ourselves. We both found ourselves telling the other to not speak negative words about ourselves. This morning God is letting me know I still need to take heed to that admonition. Even now I can hear my friend say, “Don’t talk like that!” I have determined it is time to test my words before they are voiced.

Here are the questions I need to ask myself before the words leave my mouth. Am I about to speak the truth? What are the thoughts that are feeding the words? Will the things I am about to say encourage me or discourage me? Will the words bring life or death to my spirit? Who would delight the most in what I am about to say….God or Satan? Which words need to be cleansed by the blood of Christ, given over to Him, and saturated with Scripture? When I finish saying what I am about to say will I proceed to dance with joy or live with a feeling of gloom? Will I be filled with a sense of delight or disgust? There are many more questions but my point is this, I have a choice! May I proceed to apply today’s verse to myself as well as others to whom I am speaking.

Father, sometimes I feel shaky in my ability to speak the right words. If nothing else escapes my mouth today may it be praise to You. Don’t let me waste any words. I yield my tongue to You. Amen.

Plainly Said and Still Missed

And He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. And He was stating the matter plainly. Mark 8:31,32

I marvel that Jesus was so precise in the things He shared with His disciples and yet they missed it! They could not see the meanings behind His words. Therefore, when those things He told them ahead of time began to happen, they were filled with fear, confusion, and misunderstanding. Truth had been presented to them but they were unable to take it in, due to preconceived ideas, unreceptive hearts, and their own personal agendas. They thought Jesus had come to overthrow the Roman government and set up an earthly kingdom. Words like suffer, rejected, killed, and resurrection did not quite fit their picture! However, once all these things came to pass and God’s Spirit took up residence in them, their eyes were opened and they could exclaim, “Now I see!” Life would never be the same for them from that point on.

I have had things plainly told to me and still missed what was being said. Even with the Holy Spirit in me and the complete Word of God before me I was not getting the message. Have you ever lived your Christian life knowing you are on the right track but sensing something is still missing….something is still wrong? This past week has been filled with eye-opening moments for me. Allow me to share just two truths that became clear to me.

God opened my understanding to the fact that if I live my life desiring to be anyone other than myself I will miss what He has intended for me. Out of my own sense of worthlessness and self loathing, I found it safer to just be someone other than who I am. God gently let me know I was settling for less and missing what He desired to do in me. Idolatry, camouflaging, and pretending actually closed the door to what I was really craving.

He also showed me that taking in truth about Him is not the same as living in relationship with Him. He wants a personal, intimate relationship with me and that is what we are now cultivating.

Father, it has taken two and a half years for the first drops of truth to get from my head to my heart. I marvel and I weep. Praise You! Amen.

Idols of the Heart

Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their hearts. Ezekiel 14:3

Worship begins in our heart. Not the heart that pumps blood through our veins but the seat of our will, emotions, and intellect. The very center of our identity. The bedrock of who we really are. I was struck when I read today’s verse that God did not mention the shrines the idols were in or the shelves on which they were displayed. He got right to the point and said they were setting up the idols in their hearts.

It causes me to stop and ask myself what I am setting up in my heart. I am learning that not all idols are made of wood. Whether it is in an atmosphere of religious worship or everyday life God has been teaching me that an idol is anything or anyone I give my heart to in place of Himself. It is anything or anyone I turn to instead of turning to Him. It is anything or anyone I rely upon to do for me what only He can do.

I spoke in a women’s Sunday school class yesterday. During the course of the lesson I let them know relationships have always been important to me. God has graciously allowed me to cross paths and hearts with some incredible people. Each one was brought into my life as a gift from my heavenly Father. But so often because of heart issues and unresolved hurts and disappointments I looked to the relationships to fix me, heal me, change me, and comfort me. In my own way I was looking to individuals to perform some major heart surgery in me. For decades I kept asking myself “why” it wasn’t working. Now I know! God, in His loving kindness will not allow it to work. He knows if I can get those kinds of needs met through individuals I will never turn to Him. I will revel in their friendship and keep Him at arms length. So what did He finally do?

Six months ago He changed a relationship that resulted in my being completely devastated. It wasn’t my choice….it was His. He loves me that much! It has taken months to separate the lies from the truth. It has been a time of renewing my mind and reestablishing my heart. He graciously took the idol I had set up in my heart and removed it so that His rightful place could be resumed by Himself. Painful? Yes! Necessary? Yes! I embrace Him like never before.

Father, my idolatry grieved You. The removal of my idol crushed me. Thank you for drying my tears, comforting my heart, and renewing my spirit. Amen.