A Different Response

You know my reproach and my shame and my dishonor; all my adversaries are before You. Psalm 69:19 (New American Standard Bible)

Many carry feelings of shame over past sins if they have not fully embraced God’s love, acceptance and forgiveness for them. Along with the shame is the fear that if people knew what was in their past and present, respect would be lost and abandonment would be forthcoming. The mere thought of exposure fills them with indescribable terror.

I have a few mental images of people who felt the shame of being found out. Adam and Eve grasping for leaves and self imposed hiding. The woman caught in adultery and thrown at the feet of Jesus. Jim Baker being arrested and taken away in handcuffs. Countless people whose past caught up with them and the very thing they tried to keep hidden from those whom they loved the most being exposed. Webster’s dictionary says shame is “a painful feeling of having lost the respect of others because of improper conduct or incompetence.” Each of us carries the deep need to be loved, accepted, affirmed, and included. Shame tells us that not only do we not deserve those things but what little we have found will be taken from us.

The worst kind of shame is public humiliation. A one on one scenario does not begin to compare with standing before a jeering crowd who wear scorn and disapproval on their faces and tones of disgust in their voices. It is shame that makes us want to hide, play pretend, and go to any lengths to keep our secrets a secret. How many people do you know who would remain supportive of you and loving toward you if they knew the contents of your “closet?” I have often said that the true test of love is not what people think of us when they know the best about us but rather when they know the worst.

The One who knows me best and has the most reason to reject me is the One who loves me most and fully accepts me….God! His response to me is tenderness, gentleness, and open arms when I dare to admit what He already knows about me. He is the One who wipes the dirt from my face, dries the tears in my eyes, brushes the hair off my brow, wraps His arms around me and walks me out of the room in which I was hiding. It has taken me a long time to realize the truth about God and His radical love.

Father, You not only know the feelings and conditions of my shame but the causes as well. With You there is gracious acceptance. Thank You!

Before the Throne of God Above
http://youtube.com/watch?v=f0S5Z0H4SpI