Knowing Where I Stand

No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. John 15:15 (New King James Version)

Intimacy! I still do not fully grasp God’s intimate view of me as His daughter. Through out Scripture I am given terms that define my relationship to Him. His sheep, servant, child, clay, vessel, messenger, vine, bride…..FRIEND! What does that mean? In personal terms it means one who is dear to me, one in whom I delight, one in whose company I long to be, one I talk to often, one who is on my mind a lot, one who takes priority, one whose love I am confident of, one whom I continually get to know, one who shares my heart and theirs, one who shares their world with me, and one I love with abandon.

Nothing hinders my delight in a friendship more than the uncertainty of the other person’s feelings toward me. When I perceive they no longer want a relationship with me I shut down. I no longer feel at ease to approach them because of my own fear of rejection. It is a measure of self protection that can be costly. Where once I may have felt entirely loved and accepted by them, I now expect the opposite. There is such a difference between feeling tolerated and feeling loved. Does it hurt? Yes! Is there a need for healing within myself? Absolutely! God is daily letting me know that whether my thoughts and feelings are justified or not, He must be my constant resort for comfort and renewal. While I may not always know another person’s heart, His heart is openly revealed in His Word.

For years I viewed Him as harsh, unloving, uncaring, and merely tolerating of me. I knew He loved others but felt I was not among the chosen few. How deceived I was! With such a distorted view of Him, I hesitated to seek relationship with Him. The very things that are necessary to be intimate with Him--prayer and being in His Word--were sporadic at best. I could not conceive of the fact that His endearing terms were meant for me as well. Oh, the change that came when the truth finally sunk in. He graciously opened my ears to His words of love, delight, and friendship! It changed the way I viewed Him, related to Him, and heard Him. May I never stop letting Him show me where I might still be blind to His face and deaf to His voice.

Father, all that You have to say to me, I want to digest to the fullest. With You I no longer feel insecure, uncertain, or excluded. You have called me Your friend! Amen.

The Motions - Matthew West
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaHmiFaX_pk&feature=PlayList&p=F0BA1ACD8C2BFC55&index=39

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.