My Own Husband

Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as (a service) to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22 (Amplified Bible)

When my mom was a young Christian, she attended a Bible study where she was taught a principle. She was told the husband should handle all the finances of the household and it was her duty to give her complete pay check to him. She complied. Here was her situation. She was married to my step father who was an alcoholic. If she needed money she was to ask him for it. What she often endured was humiliation and a sense that she was begging for something. My heart broke. Up until this point there had not been a problem with the way they handled their finances. But after this point she put up with a lot of unnecessary turmoil. What my mom learned later on was that this study leader had her own personal checking account and never had to ask her husband for any money.

What troubled me at the time was that this person had failed to see a very important word in today’s verse. The word “own.” My mother was not complying with a desire of her own husband as much as with a general statement made by another individual. Each of us as wives must see the individuality of our own marriages. Our husbands are unique and our relationship to them is unique as well. What one husband desires of his wife may be completely different from that of another husband.

In July of 1983, my husband married an extravert. It has never been his intention to turn me into an introvert. We have different tastes and very different personalities. He knows my strengths as well as my weaknesses and I know his. We know each other’s insecurities and fears. We have laughed together and cried together. We have buried both sets of parents. We have walked through the issues of rearing three children who are now 17, 18, and 20 years of age. There are many qualities we admire in each other and other areas we accept as part of the “package.” We compliment and complete each other.

There have been many changes and there will continue to be many more changes ahead. But it is my heart’s desire that my changes stem from my relationship with the Lord and are in accord with my OWN husband‘s wishes. May I be careful not to conform to something neither the Lord nor my husband intend for me. May my ears be attuned to the sounds of their voices and may I be discerning with all others.

Father, I am one person. Help me to be the person You created me to be. I am Tim’s wife. Help me to be all You meant for me to be to and for him. May I resist all other molds. Amen.