Contending With the Giants

For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15 (New American Standard Bible)

We are not told what Paul’s actual struggles consisted of but whenever I read Romans 7, I can relate with what he is saying. There are times I want to just throw up my hands and say, “God, I do not understand myself!” Just when I think I have a certain area under control or mastered it rears its ugly head and shows me it is very much alive and well. Tonight I realized and admitted the existence of sleeping giants within me. They seem to sleep soundly until something arouses them and then the battle begins.

For me, the giants consist of feelings of shame, vulnerability, insignificance, and confusion. What awakens them are moments of disappointment, loneliness, unmet needs, and crushed expectations. Seeing them as giants and seeing what awakens them has helped me to finally fight them the same way David fought Goliath……come against them in the strength of the Lord. Use His Word and truth as my weapons. I don’t have to let their presence scare me or throw me off balance anymore.

I know when a tendency in me has died or been transformed by the power of God and I also know when that is far from the case. It use to send me reeling to see that I would have to contend with certain things on an on going basis……..maybe for the rest of my life. The simple truth is that I possess a sin nature, live in a fallen world, and will always have giants to face. David once again becomes my example. He fought Goliath ONCE and it was over, but he spent years running from King Saul. Either way, God gave continual victory.

My hope is renewed by these truths. I am not a basket case nor am I a lost cause. I am simply a child of God who must continue to take the stance of a warrior and face the battles as they come. As long as I stay honest and open with God and use the war tactics and armor He has provided for me I will be triumphant.

Father, there are times I am not sure I am doing things right and then You come along with the wisdom, counsel, and direction I need. I praise You! Amen.