Reclaiming Who He Made

Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" Genesis 3:9 (New American Standard Bible)

Where was Adam? Hiding! Denying his actions! Living his life the opposite of how God intended for him to live! I can relate! All of us can at one time or another. God’s heart-probing questions throughout today have uncovered A LOT! Tonight, I sit in stunned amazement at not only what He has shown me but also what He wants me to start doing. I have spent the day trying to discern my own melancholy mood and tonight God has helped me to see the root and reason for it. I’ve been hiding, denying, and living opposite! Let me explain.

I have been trying to deny the person God made me to be while attempting to become the person I thought I was suppose to be. The bottom line? I was miserable. I am a people person! I love people and I enjoy connecting with them. A painful situation last year caused me to think it might be better if I shut this part of myself down and become a little less open to relationships. That was suppose to insure no further pain or disappointment. What it actually did was hinder me from enjoying an aspect of life that God instilled within me to enjoy! It would be like a nature lover deciding to never venture outside again. Or a mountain climber to avoid any more high altitude moments. Or an artist to put up his brushes and paints in order to devote the rest of his life to coal mining. Setting aside what they have a passion for in exchange for something that isn’t really meant for them.

Are there risks involved if I open myself up to relationships again? Absolutely! But I think back to the many precious relationships God has blessed me with and I wouldn’t trade what I gained from them for the world. There are bound to be goodbyes along the way and painful separations. I will have to continue to guard against emotional dependency. But I don’t want to miss the treasure for fear of possible pain. I well remember that for me the most painful separation came out of the most precious interaction. I know that God has many more friendships and relationships ahead as I learn to trust Him for them and see them for the gifts they are.

I am ready to stop denying this God-given part of myself and to start enjoying life again. I am not sure what will come of it but it certainly has to be better than what I have been experiencing for the last number of months!

Father, I feel alive again as I open myself up to all that You have in store for me. Thank you for who You created me to be! Amen.