Breaking the Cycle

Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on. 1 Samuel 18:9 (New American Standard Bible)

A victory celebration evoked a negative and dangerous emotional response in Saul when the women of Israel credited David with an accomplishment that outshined Saul himself. His resentment, bitterness, and suspicion was directed toward David (not the women) even though David was unaware of the feelings against him and had done no wrong himself.

I relate with Saul all too well. Many have been the times I have harbored thoughts and feelings against others when they themselves did nothing wrong and when they weren’t even aware there was a problem on my end. Disappointment or unmet expectations can often be the trigger for such feelings and then the battle is on! Eventually David could tell that Saul was hateful and hurtful toward him but he didn’t know why. The people in my life may sense something has gone awry but not only do they not know what it is they don’t even know I’m holding something against them. It is a vicious cycle that has repeated itself more often than I care to admit. When it is all said and done the sense of shame and regret is added to the mix and the mess I bring to God is astounding.

In the wee hours of this night, God is helping me to see how much I am holding on to which is causing me to eye people with suspicion (just as Saul did with David). There is no joy in relationships when I have a list of things I have taken personally and held on to with a death grip of great proportion. The answer to how I release the grip comes in stages.

First, I see that the problem lies in me NOT in the people I harbor the feelings against. It boils down to my own insecurities and high expectations of others. Second, I admit to God that I have been keeping track and a hold of the perceptions, emotions, and feelings. It has been my choice by my own will. Third, I ask for and received His forgiveness for believing the lies and acting out of those lies.

I will experience freedom and victory in this area as I take these steps each time disappointment or perceptions begin to pull me into a wrong mindset. It is a matter of my choosing to acknowledge and release that which seeks to control me. Does it work? Yes! Will it continue to work? Absolutely….as I choose to do it!

Father, the joy of this truth keeps me from cringing at my past track record. Amen.

May I Be His Love - Kathy Troccoli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B6ieQL_Q-k

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Limited Perspective

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. I Samuel 16:7 (New King James Version)

God’s words to Samuel, as he considered the next king for Israel, became instructional for me as I do some soul searching and truth seeking. Which of us have not been guilty of drawing false conclusions based upon that which we can see with our physical eyes? Which of us have not experienced being on the receiving end of such conclusions? There are times when our conclusions fall in favor of another person and times when they go against them. The problem is, one can be just as false as the other.

For decades people drew the conclusion that I was a strong Christian and right with God based solely upon the fact that I carried the “right” Bible, listened to the “right” music, attended the “right” church, spoke the “right” words, fellowshipped with the “right” Christians, and did the “right” things. Their criteria for spirituality was faulty. All those “right” things were easily done without having an intimate walk with God. It was not that I didn’t want it, it was that I just didn’t have it. I somehow felt if I could just keep doing the “right” things it would eventually result in closeness to God. I had the religion of Christianity down pat. Even knew Jesus as my Savior. But I faltered in my daily relationship and connection with God.

Several years ago that all changed and so did people’s conclusions. When I dared to step out of the acceptable “box” I had willingly lived in for so many years I was then labeled as backslidden, rebellious, and a liberal. The part that crushed me and can still so easily bring me to tears was that at neither point could these individuals see my heart. God is tenderly teaching me THAT is the reason I must not seek the approval and acceptance of people. God, and God alone, knows my heart, sees every detail of my life, and has witnessed every experience I have been through. Some know me better than others but NO one knows me like God knows me. Like myself, they are limited and must operate by their five senses. Unless God gifts them with true discernment they most likely will conclude the wrong thing. We all will!

I need to see and be reminded often that the One who knows me best and loves me most is the One whose opinion and favor I must seek. His is the only one that really matters.

Father, whenever I have wrestled with painful issues You have been gracious to settle my heart and mind. May I daily acknowledge my own limited perspectives and that of others. I bow to You as the only qualified and righteous Judge. Amen.

Came to My Rescue - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAMbEPZfWCY

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Encouraging Yourself the Right Way

And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters; but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God. I Samuel 30:6 (King James Version)

This verse intrigues me. It comes at a time when David and his 600 men have returned to their city of Ziklag only to find that it had been burned with fire and their families taken captive. Their possessions and loved ones were gone and they spiraled into a pit of anger, confusion, grief, and revenge. Their first response was tears until they could cry no more. Their next response was to stone David. In their irrational thinking they felt, as leader, he was to blame for this horrific tragedy. They were not even able to digest the fact that David was experiencing the same loss as they were. They were blind to his personal pain and consumed with a wrong agenda. Fortunately, the story ended with this plot dissolving and the return of their families. Possible tragedy turned to victory!

It is in our nature when we are hurting deeply to find someone to blame and to go on the attack against them. Our minds tell us that making them pay for our pain will somehow bring relief or at the least make us feel better. Revenge can seem like a worthwhile and even healing answer. But as with so many other wrong conclusions, it is a lie and technique Satan masterminds and introduces, and it will not bring the result we are hoping for. He knows if he can get us to use our emotions to drive us to wrong actions then the destruction will be even greater. We must remember that he is still a roaring lion who seeks to devour us. Often he will even recruit believers to aid him in his plot! Oh the tragedy that awaits if we join him.

There is a better way. David encouraged himself in the Lord. This is where he received his strength and direction. He simply had to begin reviewing God’s faithfulness in the past as well as His covenant promise of protection, provision, and presence for the here and now. When all others turned on him, he turned to God. What a difference it would have made had each of his men reached for God’s hand instead of for a stone. David knew the dangers of having any other source of encouragement than almighty God Himself. No one, other than God, could deliver his people and redeem his story.

With that said, God now whispers to me the words of James 1:22, “Be ye doers of the Word and not hearers only.” He knows the necessity for me to apply this principle of encouragement the next time I am filled with sadness, loss, grief, and pain. How vital that I turn to Him rather than curl up with my emotions and do further damage.

Father, Bring me to the place where You are the only One I reach for, listen to, and follow. Amen.

Strong Tower
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqL_zcig9Is&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Triggers

The women sang as they played, and said, "Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands." Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and… Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on. 1 Samuel 18:7-9 (New American Standard Bible)

Saul’s anger erupted out of a heart filled with the need for prominence, not only in his kingdom but in the hearts and minds of his people. His anger led to suspicion and eventually attempted murder. But what was it that brought on his anger? What was the trigger that flipped his switch of negative, destructive emotions? Today’s verse reveals this time it was women who were praising David’s accomplishments above Saul’s. Unfortunately, Saul never conquered his jealousy or anger.

Last night, the Lord and I went on a hunt….a trigger hunt. My area of concern was not anger but rather negative perceptions about people. I knew those perceptions where wrong and they were robbing me of joy and enjoyment of significant relationships. I knew they stemmed from heart issues and wrong thinking. But the Lord wanted me to understand the necessity of seeing what triggered the thoughts. What was it that could take me from good moments to thinking the worst of another individual? What were my triggers? Within minutes the answer came. For me, the door to my perceptions is opened with the key of disappointment. God wanted me to see the pattern.

There are times I place expectations on people and when those expectations are not forth coming I experience disappointment. The disappointment triggers the negative perceptions which stirs up a sea of emotions in me. If not properly dealt with the result can range from withdrawal to out right anger. But the disappointment is two-fold. While I am disappointed in the unmet expectations, I am also disappointed in myself for having the expectations to start with. God is letting me know there is a better way to live.

First, place my expectations and hope in Him. People will never be able to give me all that I want, in the amount that I want it, and when I want it. They are not meant to. But when disappointment does mark my path it is imperative that I learn to identify the problem and take the unmet needs to God rather than allow perceptions to consume me. This is the formation of a spiritual muscle for me but it will only develop and grow as I exercise it. In order for that to take place, God will continue to allow me to experience the “triggers” in order to practice the truth He has revealed. As long as I cooperate with Him it will work and change will come. I lean on Him and learn from Him.

Father, freedom comes through acknowledgement, confession, and cooperation with You. Keep me coming back to You for the answers to all of my questions. Amen.

Set Me Free - Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sio1WyIxGy4&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Emotionally Driven

Therefore, when Saul saw that he behaved very wisely, he was afraid of him. 1 Samuel 18:15 (New King James Version)

When Saul saw David’s popularity increase, jealousy ruled. When he saw David behave in wise ways, fear ruled. When he knew David was to be the next king of Israel, hatred ruled. My Bible notes refer to Saul as one having “schizophrenic behavior.” Those in close contact with him would have witnesses his highs and lows to a point of never being sure of what to expect from him. Today, we would say, “they walked on egg shells.”

We are not told if those who knew him best knew what set him off each time his emotions led him to act out in anger or why he was so determined to destroy David. As I read the accounts, I have to ask myself if Saul himself even knew the root of his actions and attitudes. I ponder whether or not he ever wanted to change. Did he lose sleep? Did he make resolves to “do better next time?” Did he realize he needed help? Or did he live with attitude of justification and declaration that what he was doing was okay? Did he have people in his life who ever tried to get him to see the truth about himself? When the first few episodes took place, did he see that he had a problem?

For any who experience mood swings and inconsistent behavior, it is easy to relate with Saul. As I read the accounts of his life in Scripture, I find myself knowing how it feels to be ruled by emotions and feelings. While I do not act out in the same way, I act out none the less! My default mode is usually sullenness and silence when I experience insecurity, jealousy, rejection, or disappointment. I am talkative by nature and love being part of conversations and laughter. But when I am hit with a downward pull, that all changes. Those who are around me are never sure what to do with me or to me. I am sure that prayers go up but along with that they must experience frustration, concern, and a sense of bewilderment.

As I think back to the most recent occurrence I know one thing….I do not want my life to end up like Saul’s did…..no change, no freedom, no true living. It won’t as long as I see and acknowledge the truth and continually seek God’s help and healing in my life. It requires being honest with God, others, and myself. It requires obedience in that which I know must be said and done. Some would say I am too hard on myself. I would say I am in need of change.

Father, the cycle is vicious and the times of failure daunting. Help me to walk in victory in those areas that have been filled with defeat thus far. Show me what to do and give me the grace and desire to do it. Amen.

Wonderful Merciful Savior - Selah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQzrqmcwg8o&feature=PlayList&p=2715BD1BF5489D23&playnext_from=PL&index=0&playnext=1

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

What He Has Done

Only fear the LORD, and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things He has done for you. 1 Samuel 12:24 (New King James Version)

When I truly consider what God has done for me, fearing Him and serving Him in truth will be my experience. What is it He has done for me? He created me, chose me, forgave me, redeemed me, sanctified me, loved me, carried me, corrected me, comforted me, delighted in me, rejoiced over me, strengthened me, filled me with His Spirit, taught me, spoke to me, reassured me, supplied my needs, healed my hurts, used me, redirected my steps, knew me, accepted me, gave me an identity, defined me, refined me, and told me I am His. That was just a partial list but enough to evoke praise and worship from my heart. Spoken in the past tense did not minimize their present existence. While His creation of me and redemption were one time events the others are done on a continual basis. Who better to fear (trust and admire)? Who better to serve in truth?

This morning I sit in amazement and wonder at God’s involvement in my life. I am not an easy lump of clay to work with but I am also not a surprise or disappointment to my Potter. He created me and then saved me with full awareness of what my life would entail. It has been nearly 37 years since I trusted Christ as my Savior and He does not now look at me as if I were more than He bargained for. He does not say to Himself, “If I had known THIS I would have never chosen you in the first place!” Far from that, He speaks the words of 1 Samuel 12:23 over me, “It has pleased the LORD to make you His people.”

With that in mind I am free to live my life as a recipient of His mercy, love, grace, compassion, and delight. I am free to allow Him to meet the deepest needs of my heart. As one who has tried for decades to have my needs met through people, I see more fully the truth that He alone is able do what others are unable to do. Serving Him then becomes a result of His work rather than a means to have my needs met through the very ones I reach out to.

Many have been the times God has offered me His hands as well as human hands for support and encouragement. Many were the times my grip on the human hands was tighter than my grip on His. I could see what they were doing and failed to consider what He was doing. May that change.

Father, in a way that only You can work, turn my eyes, ears, heart, and mind toward You. Amen.

Worship Song - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMpbm2p-1mo

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

God's Method and Freedom of Speech

Then the LORD came and stood and called as at other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" And Samuel said, "Speak, for Your servant is listening." 1 Samuel 3:10 (New American Standard Bible)

There are times when God works to show us what box we are putting Him in. For me, that box has entailed assuming God would, could, and should be speaking to me in certain ways, at certain times, and in certain places. Usually my ideas come from how I saw Him speak to people in Bible times or how I see Him speak to others in the here and now. I often have the idea that what is true for others in their relationship with God needs to be true for me as well. So I find myself trying to set the stage for such communication to take place. A trip a year ago was no exception.

My plan was to take my daughter to Cumberland Gap, Tennessee, and then get alone with God for a couple days with the desire that He would speak to me personally about a variety of issues in my life. I wanted it to be my “Samuel” moment. I thought I needed to set aside books and music and just have it be us. That is not what happened. Instead, God used a four hour conversation with my daughter, a phrase in a book, a phone conversation with a friend, and individual songs to give me some insights I needed to grasp. Each time truth got in I knew without a doubt that He was speaking directly to me. I came away from that time profoundly refreshed in spirit. How tragic it would have been had I insisted He do it MY way!

I learned to look at two areas of my life differently because of what He chose to show me that weekend. His communication with me will often entail external sources and means. My walk with Him will often include relationships that He brings into my life. As I embraced those truths and delighted in it being that way I found myself more content and at peace.

What am I trying to say? God knows each of our make up. He created us and wired us a certain way. He knows how we operate best and what our legitimate and intimate needs are. We don’t get very far when we look for Him to work differently with us than how He chooses to work. We are the richer for it when we revel in His ways with us and His knowledge of us.

Father, I relinquish my ideas of how things ought to be. You know best. You do what is best. I trust Your heart and Your ways. Amen.

No Eye Has Seen - Paul Baloche
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7HN-6Z43Ik&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Breaking the Chains of Regret

Do not be afraid, Samuel replied. You have done all this evil; yet do not turn away from the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart. 1 Samuel 12:20 (New International Version)

The children of Israel had a trail of sin behind them. They had turned their back on God numerous times and followed false gods. Their cycle of rebellion, bondage, confession, and deliverance had played itself out multiple times. To add insult to injury they asked for a king when all the while God was desiring to be their King. Samuel’s words to them were spoken at a time when their sin stared them in the face and disturbed them deeply.

As the saying goes, “Been there and bought the t-shirt!” Many have been the time when past sins and failures have tormented me. Did I ask forgiveness? Yes! Yet the regret of not doing right will persist if I allow it. One person had it right when she said, “You have confessed it. You have asked for forgiveness. But you are not at peace because you have not accepted the forgiveness God has graciously given.” She was right. Oh, the unnecessary choice we make to persistently carry baggage from the past!

It is never God’s intent that we live under the banner of condemnation once something has been brought to Him for forgiveness. It is not His desire that we incessantly review what He no longer holds against us. While our sin is certainly not a light matter with God, neither is His forgiveness. Forgiveness is a fresh start and an invitation to, from this point on, serve the Lord with all our heart.

That fresh start is taken with renewed thinking and the stopping of labeling ourselves by our past. Our walk with God needs to be defined by what we are doing NOW, rather than what we have done, failed to do, or stopped doing in the past. Just as a parent rejoices over the steps taken by a little one learning to walk, so God rejoices over progress made in our daily walk with Him. It has taken me quite a while to learn to view my Christian life in such a way that I acknowledge the steps forward rather than the stumbles made along the way. It took hearing it from others over and over again before the truth finally hit, but I am beginning to see my journey as one that entails falling, forgiveness, getting up and moving forward. With time I am seeing a bit more distance between those cycles.

So what do I do when I find myself once again in the “review” mode? Know that it is not from God, acknowledge that I have been forgiven, and rejoice in each fresh start!

Father, so often I relate with the children of Israel. Thank you for the reminder that I no longer have to live in the past…even if the past is recent history! Amen.

He Has Forgiven Me - Damaris Carbaugh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQhHN_Ed4sk

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Taken the Wrong Way

Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and he said, "They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?" Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on. 1 Samuel 18:8,9 (New American Standard Bible)

A hero’s welcome for David ignited a spirit of suspicion, jealousy, and hatred in King Saul that eventually led him to a strong desire to see David dead. He never saw the truth of his own heart and therefore never dealt with the very thing that became his ruin. Ruled by his own sense of insecurity, loneliness, and self centeredness, Saul spent his life playing the comparison game. When women greeted David with songs of acclamation for his victories in war, they meant it as a celebration but Saul took it as a personal insult to himself.

There are times when God uses the weaknesses of others in Scripture to pinpoint and highlight areas of concern in my own life. I wish I could read this account of Saul and not have any idea where he was coming from but that just isn’t the case. I relate all too well with not only his thoughts and feelings but with his actions as well. Although I would never seek the life of an individual, I have entertained the worst of thoughts toward them. I have played out scenarios in my mind and embraced them as truth. The effects of doing so have brought about painful consequences.

This morning, God and I are delving into the undercurrent of taking things personal. It happens every time I attach a negative reason, motive, or agenda to another person’s actions or lack of actions. I presume to know what they are thinking and respond to that perception. What makes it so difficult is that what I am thinking is actually feasible….the enemy makes sure I know that. Once I have an idea embedded in my mind everything else seems to go out the window and I am on my way to the bedrock of my flesh.

God and I are looking over the list of offenses and disappointments that I have been harboring just in the last week. The discomfort of how that is effecting me is what is causing me to cry out to Him for answers. He has shown me the problem and now I look to Him to show me the solution. It will necessitate a heart change and a transformed way of thinking and those come only through His work in me and my cooperation with Him. I have been on this journey long enough to know that when God reveals an area of weakness to me it is to show me what He intends to work on rather than to condemn me. I rest in that thought.

Father, at times I do well in fighting the battles. At other times I drop all resistance and live in defeat. You have better plans for me and I look to you for the necessary change needed. Amen.

Praise You With the Dance - Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RjNcOqwpRk&feature=related

I welcome your questions and comments to any devotional thoughts. I am honored and delighted to share my journey with you and privileged to hear of yours.

A Day For Review

And Eli said to Samuel, "Go lie down, and it shall be if He calls you, that you shall say, 'Speak, LORD, for Your servant is listening.'" So Samuel went and lay down in his place. Then the LORD came and stood and called as at other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" And Samuel said, "Speak, for Your servant is listening." 1 Samuel 3:9,10 (New American Standard Bible)

God is still in the business of speaking to us when we poise ourselves to listen to him. I find though that every day is not necessarily a hearing of new things from Him. He knows my tendency to learn a lesson and then quickly want to move on to the next lesson to be learned. This morning He is letting me know this will be a day for review. I sense His insistence that I meditate upon the things He showed me yesterday. He wants the truths to go deeper within me. I can too easily settle for the cognitive aspect of taking in truth. I allow it to get into my mind but He is desirous that I also let it into my spirit. Transformation comes as I allowed the truth to become a part of my daily practice.

Yesterday was a day of “getting” the truth. Today begins the adventure of living out of that truth. What truth? That God is the One in control of my life and is bringing about all necessary changes. He knows that if I don’t fully embrace this aspect of Him, I will succumb to the skewed thinking and dangerous mindsets that can so easily trip me up. So He insists that I continue to rehearse the phrases He gave me as a way of reshaping my outlook on the circumstances of my own life.

Not only did He give me phrases but He also presented me with pictures that still hang on the walls of my mind. I can see them as clearly as the actual pictures that hang on the walls of my home. They are meant to reinforce the very truths He is instilling in me. How precious that He ministers to the visual person He created me to be. He knows exactly what words and images to use in order to help me understand, embrace, and live out of the life changing truth He is teaching me.

I rest in the fact that He is tailoring His instructions for me on an individual and daily basis. Line upon line and precept upon precept continue to be His method of teaching in the school of life. My part is to remain tender and teachable to His voice.

Father, I am touched by Your personal involvement in my life. You know how to get truth across to me. Help me to continue to listen, learn, and grow in the grace and knowledge of Yourself. Amen.

Knowing When God Is Speaking

And Eli said to Samuel, “Go lie down, and it shall be if He calls you, that you shall say, ‘Speak, LORD, for Your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. 1 Samuel 3:9 (New American Standard Bible)

How often I have felt like Samuel. God was speaking his name and desiring to tell him something and yet he had no idea God was the One speaking to him. Yet when he took the advice of Eli, the priest, and voiced the words, “Speak, LORD, for Your servant is listening,” he clearly heard and understood what God was saying to him. After that point, I believe he had no trouble discerning when God was speaking to him. His ears remained open and his heart remained receptive to each message.

Who was the Eli in your life who taught you essential principles about hearing God’s voice? For most of my Christian life I embraced the idea that I speak to God in prayer and God speaks to me through His Word. Prayer was like speaking into a tape recorder…much like a one sided conversation. Hearing God meant reading His Word and seeing what He said to people thousands of years ago. Many times I felt like I was listening in on someone else’s conversation. Like Samuel, I didn’t know when God was speaking directly to me, unless it was for the purposes of condemnation and disapproval. I praise God for the person who wisely let me know prayer is a dialogue not a monologue, whereby I speak to God and then listen as God speaks to me.

While God definitely speaks through His Word, whether I am reading it, meditating on it, or hearing it from another person, He is not limited to only speaking through His Word, but what He says will always be in agreement with His Word. I have come to recognize God’s voice within my thoughts, for they are too profound to be my own. As I have learned to listen, I know that I know He is speaking to me.

How does He speak to me? In times when I have shared with Him my own feelings of worthlessness and insignificance He has clearly spoken to my spirit and said, “You matter to me.” In times when I don’t know what to do, He brings pointed direction to mind. When I don’t understand the buried issues of my heart He reveals the roots that are nourishing and holding in place wrong attitudes. Many are the times He brings scripture to mind or the words of a precious song. It may be during the hours I am at work or simply taking a much needed walk through neighborhoods close to my home. It may be in the night hours when tears fall freely and I can’t even speak the words to Him. Conversations abound now that I recognize His voice. They will for any who learn to listen with interest and attention.

Father, You were speaking to me long before I knew it was You. Thank you for awakening my ear to the sound of Your voice. Speak, Lord, I am listening. Amen.

Our Hiding Place

But Jonathan Saul’s son delighted much in David: and Jonathan told David, saying, Saul my father seeketh to kill thee: now therefore, I pray thee, take heed to thyself until the morning, and abide in a secret place, and hide thyself. I Samuel 19:2 KJV

Where do you resort to when your world is turned upside down? Maybe like David, you are experiencing a devastating change in a close relationship. Maybe you have been handed a medical diagnosis that felt more like a death sentence. Maybe everything that is dear to you has been suddenly ripped out of your life. Whatever the case may be, Jonathan’s words to David are meant for you as well….abide in a secret place and hide thyself.

David eventually penned words that revealed where he learned to safely abide. Psalm 91:1 says, “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” Jesus urges us to abide in Him and in His love.

Abiding has the idea of making a certain place your abode. A place to sit, rest, and dwell. It is the equivalent of a spiritual Calgon commercial! Although we may not be able to physically remove ourselves from a certain place or situation, our spirit can always choose to resort to a secret place under the shadow of the Almighty. To draw in close enough to God that His presence, peace, and person overshadows you and all that is affecting your world.

Throughout Scripture God gives us visuals of being that close to Himself. A mother hen gathering her chicks under her wings. An eagle hovering over her young. Other pictures come to mind of this tender aspect of God. A mother or grandmother cradling an infant in their arms. A person of strength and compassion embracing and holding a grieving friend. The hushed tones, gentle touch, and caring eyes all directed toward a person in need.

But God is also a fortress, stronghold, shelter, and bulwark. A place that is completely safe and unable to be disturbed. One that keeps all storms at bay and hinders them from completely destroying our internal world.

Strength and tenderness! Two aspects of our God who desires for us to seek refuge and comfort in Him.

Father, may my place of hiding and abiding always be in You! Amen.

Partial Obedience

Then the word of the LORD came to Samuel: “I am grieved that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions.” When Samuel reached him, Saul said, “The LORD bless you! I have carried out the LORD’s instructions.” I Samuel 15:10,11,13 (NIV)

The instructions were clear (I Samuel 15:1-26). Saul was to destroy the Amalekites and their animals because of their treatment of the children of Israel when they left Egypt. But Saul didn’t do that. He destroyed everything except the king, the best of the animals, and all that was good. His partial obedience was noticed and condemned by God. Hence, Samuel was told two very different things by God and Saul. God said Saul had not obeyed Him and Saul said he had obeyed. Upon hearing Saul’s statement, Samuel had one question for him. In essence he said, “If you have truly obeyed God, why am I hearing bleating sheep and lowing cattle?” Samuel and Saul were within hearing distance of his disobedience. The eventual consequence of that disobedience was his loss of position as king.

Partial obedience is no obedience as far as God is concerned. Every part of His commands to us are significant and necessary. But we often approach His Word with a smorgasbord mentality. Picking and choosing what appeals to us and ignoring what doesn’t. How our selective, partial, incomplete obedience must grieve the heart of God as well. Are there consequences? Absolutely! They may be in the form of missed opportunities, loss of position, withdrawn blessings, or even shortened life. Although we live under grace and not under law, this principle still applies. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. But there is encouragement in the midst of what seems harsh.

David was called a man after God’s own heart even though he had a trail of sin behind him that included adultery and murder. How can that be? Because when he was confronted with his sin he repented and always sought reconciliation with God. When Saul was confronted with his sin he always made excuses and minimized the offense. Repentance opens the door for restoration and reinstates God’s hand of blessing on a life. Refusal to admit the wrong, blocks the return of blessing. It is that simple.

Father, may I grieve at my partial obedience as much as You do. Help me to completely obey and fully follow You. Amen.

God's Invitation to Us

And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore. I Samuel 1:10 (KJV)

For any who are battling hurt, rage, anger, disappointment, depression, or extreme sorrow, Hannah becomes an example. When she came to the temple that day it was with a heart full of every imaginable emotion. The baggage she carried had been filled with the pain of infertility, continual verbal abuse of a family member, and a husband who did not understand why she was so upset. (I Samuel 1:1-8) She had hit her breaking point and resorted to the only One who understood her turmoil and could act on her behalf. She held nothing back as she poured out her complaint to God. There was no guardedness to her prayer, no denial of thoughts and feelings, no suppressed or repressed emotions. She was transparent before God. It may have taken her a while to get to that point but once she was there everything was brought out in the open. This was a woman who knew how to make God her refuge!

When was the last time you opened up to God on this level? When was the last time you came before Him with raw emotions, unhindered thoughts, and complete exposure of your internal world? It has taken many years for me to realize the necessity of such prayer times and to understand that God is actually inviting me to come to Him in that way. How it must have grieved God to see me with a guardedness when I approached Him. How He must have ached to see that I would hold back tears, keep back my true feelings, and lack an assurance that I was safe in His presence. I had somehow learned to play “dress up” and “pretend” with a God who could see right through me. But the masquerade ended when I began to realize God’s love is unconditional and His desire for me to come to Him with honesty is sincere.

I now know what it is like to cry so hard on His shoulders that my eyes are swollen and my throat hurts. He comforts and heals as I express my true feelings and admit what I am really thinking. I can now attest to the fact that not only can He handle it, He invites it. Each time I get out into the light what has been locked in the darkness, God amazes me!

Father, You have brought me from a guarded place into Your embrace. You taught me the necessity and appropriateness of my tears. Thank you for helping me to remove the “Off Limits” sign from my heart. Amen.

The Heart of Rejoicing

And Hannah prayed, and said, My heart rejoiceth in the LORD…..I rejoice in thy salvation. I Samuel 2:1 KJV

Hannah waited years to conceive and give birth to her first child, Samuel. Her infertility, as well as people in her life, taunted her and reminded her of her barrenness. I Samuel 1 finds her in the temple pouring her heart out to God and He gives her the promise of a son. The following year that son is born and the first few years of his life are spent being nurtured by Hannah. But at the tender age of 3 or 4, Samuel is taken to the temple to live. His life is to be devoted entirely to God. He would grow up to be God’s prophet and spokesman to Israel.

I marvel that Hannah was able to give up her child after longing for one for so many years. I marvel even more that her immediate response was one of rejoicing! How can that be? Because her ability to rejoice was found in the object of her rejoicing….God! While she could have walked away in sorrow she chose rather to exult in who God was and what God had done. She knew her life had been dramatically touched by the finger of God. Although she may not have fully understood all that God had planned for Samuel’s life, she knew he belonged to God and God takes care of those who are His.

I find similarities in the prayers of King David and Mary, the mother of Jesus. They had the kind of prayers that went something like this: I rejoice in the Lord because ____________________. While there were many reasons for the rejoicing, it was IN the Lord.

This challenges me to follow their pattern of prayer. How would those prayers sound? "I rejoice in the Lord because He saved me. I rejoice in the Lord because He has delivered me from my enemies and strongholds. I rejoice in the Lord because He is changing me. I rejoice in the Lord because He is supplying all of my needs. I rejoice in the Lord because He is God. I rejoice in the Lord because He has called, chosen, and accepted me. I rejoice in the Lord because He is good to me. I rejoice in the Lord because He is continually with me. "

Father, I spent many years thanking You for all You’ve done but failed to rejoice in You. May I learn to honor, adore, and celebrate You as I speak of You or to You. Amen.

Finding Encouragement

And Jonathan, Saul’s son, arose and went to David at Horesh, and encouraged him in God. I Samuel 23:16

Do you have a Jonathan in your life? Someone who encourages you in God? I hope so! God has blessed me with a number of special Jonathans. A couple of them I have never met face to face. We have corresponded via emails but our souls are connected and the encouragement runs deep. Many times God has used their words to sustain me during difficult times.

Last evening I experienced an all too familiar feeling of discouragement. I knew it was coming. For a number of days it had lurked in the background and I kept the battle between God and myself. But this time I felt the urge to phone a friend for the specific purpose of being encouraged in God. I knew she would remind me of the very things I needed to hold on to in my journey. I knew she would speak life giving words to my weary soul…and she did!

At the same time, I knew there would be one specific word she would have for me that would energize my faith once again. Sure enough, about 30 minutes into the conversation she said something specifically about standing in my faith. That resonated very powerfully with me and my downcast eyes sprang to life again. The dark clouds of my spirit gave way to pure sunshine. Jonathans are truly God sent!

But what about those times when we must encourage ourselves in God? God has recently shown me how to do that. Encouragement is found in simply proclaiming to Jesus all He is to me! To voice out loud, “Jesus, You are my Peace. You are my Rock. You are my Comforter. You are my Strength. You are my Shelter. You are my Sustainer. You are my Healer. You are my Teacher. You are my Shepherd. You are my Compass. You are my Guide. You are my Protector. You are my Friend.”

I encourage you today to begin your own list of proclamations. The sky’s the limit. A trip through the book of Psalms will give you many “You are my ________” statements. Truth spoken out loud will minister to you whether you are doing the talking or someone else is. May you be encouraged in God in profound ways today and always.

Father, whether I say the words to myself or a friend says them to me, Your truths reach my heart. I cherish them all. Amen.