In Need Again

Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21, 22 (New American Standard Bible)

It is one thing to consider Peter’s question when you are in need of forgiving someone. It is quite another when you realize you are the one standing in need of forgiveness on a continual basis. Wanting to kick yourself for repeated patterns of behavior and seeing little change. Knowing that the person you are asking forgiveness from AGAIN is one who has seen the worst in you and still sees it. Not always sure of the response you will get, it is easy to walk with a sense of shame and embarrassment. Eye contact is minimal as is conversation. It is one of the most uncomfortable positions in which to be.

This morning I am asking myself why so many of us as believers walk with a sense of condemnation after we have failed when Scripture clearly states there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. For me, there are numerous reasons. My actions remind me of how opposite of God I really am. I cringe at imperfection and I have so much of it to cringe at! Repeated offenses remind me that change is slow in coming and at times I doubt it will ever come. Insecurities come to the surface and work to convince me that I have now given another person every reason to stop loving me and I fear they will. Ultimately, I know I don’t deserve another chance. I wonder how many of these thoughts plagued the prodigal son on his trip back home. Fearful he would receive the kind of reception his brother eventually gave him and not at all expecting what his father lavished on him. I know those thoughts too well.

It is times like this when God’s forgiveness or anyone else’s forgiveness is too extravagant to grasp or hope for. When the sin stains seem too numerous and the reputation too damaged. When the stench of our sin nature still lingers in the air.

Today will be a day of learning how to not only ask for forgiveness but how to receive it. How to feel safe in it. How to feel cleansed and refreshed by it. How to sense everything is okay once again. That is what I am in need of and that is what I seek.

Father, when You see the sins of my heart and actions I cringe. But when others see those things I cower. Restore to me the joy of my salvation within the corridors of forgiveness. Amen.

What Sin? - Morgan Cryar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3Wdzzx6-f4

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.