Breaking the Silence

“Am I a God near at hand,” says the LORD, “And not a God afar off? Can anyone hide himself in secret places, so I shall not see him?” says the LORD; “Do I not fill heaven and earth?” says the LORD. Jeremiah 23:23,24 (New King James Version)

God’s Word brings comfort to me this morning. As I reflect upon feelings and emotions I do not like to experience, loneliness tops the list. There are times I want to be with people and yet I have experienced loneliness even in a crowd. When it seems I cannot reach others or be reached by them, separation envelopes me and I grow lonely. I can begin to feel isolated, invisible, and forgotten. I use to not know what to do with the thoughts. It seemed I had no choice but to curl up with the ache until it went away or something happened to distract me. If nothing else, I could hope for evening when I could just fall asleep and not feel any of it. God has a better way and I have choices!

I am learning that the raw emotions and discomforts of life are not meant to be ignored, glossed over, or denied. What I think and feel is meant to be acknowledged and voiced to God. He invites me to tell Him how I am feeling and when I am feeling it. The ache of my heart is never hidden from Him or ignored by Him. He wants me to know I am safe to tell Him about it and give the feelings to Him. He always stands ready to give me some exchanges. If it is lies I am believing, He offers truth. If it is loneliness I am feeling, He offers me His presence. If it is fear I am experiencing, He offers me courage. If it is insignificance I am sensing, He offers me worth and acceptance. The list is endless as are His offers.

Learning to go to Him and accept His offers has been slow in coming. I grew up being hesitant to share that which was hidden in my head and heart. The enemy of my soul had convinced me that silence was best when it came to areas of hurt, shame, or disappointment. But God, in His graciousness, placed people in the path of my life to coax me out my self imposed prison and as I opened up to them they counseled, nurtured, and helped me. His purpose in ministering to me through the body of Christ was so that I would eventually learn to go to Him. What people could do for me was a mere shadow of what He stood ready and willing to do for me. But He continues to leave the choice to me as to whether or not I will take Him up on His offer. I am learning to choose wisely and I am the richer for it!

Father, I kept silent when you longed for me to speak to You. I carried pain that You invited me to give to You. May those choices no longer mark my life. Amen.

Shout to the Lord - Darlene Zschech
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-j7CFfDvHc

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.