It's a Choice

Let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn together what is good. Job 34:4 (New International Version)

If I had to put my most recent God-taught lesson into one simple phrase it would be this, “I have a choice.” I have recently experienced the rewards, benefits, healing, and blessing of making right choices and I have many memories of the painful consequences that are forthcoming when I make the wrong choices. The truth of the matter is that for years I was blind to the options. While some people have faltered in the area of morality, responsibility, addictions, or legal issues, my struggle has been with emotions and feelings. What has ruled me for so many years is becoming a targeted area for freedom by my Abba Father.

While there are numerous examples I could give, my attention is being drawn to one this morning. God is revealing to me my tendency to follow patterns of thought and behavior….particularly when it comes to disappointment. It is in times when people are not able to give me what I want or plans have been interrupted or changed that certain feelings surface. Up until recently I wasn’t sure what to do with the feelings. While I would condemn myself for having them I quickly chose to simply bury them and go into a withdrawal mode. Relationships would suffer as I curled up into a ball of hurt, anger, and pity. My focus was off and as a result I was imprisoned in a damaging cycle of emotions. Praise God that is not the end of the story!

After months of a friend’s counsel and input, I decided to test a truth she had shared with me. I decided to accept the fact that the problem was not in what was happening but rather in my interpretation and resulting feelings. “What am I feeling at this moment” became my soul searching question. Events and situations are usually triggering emotions from painful memories. As I allow God to help me identify the feelings and we work together to go back to the early introductions of those feelings, I am then able to release them to Him and stop the cycle I have become accustomed to living out. I have stood open mouthed with amazement that I have this option and that it works! I have seen the power in this process and experienced freedom beyond my wildest imaginations.

I have crossed a bridge of choice and proceed to burn that bridge behind me as a way of not returning to an old way of living. My emotions and feelings have ruled and fooled me for far too many years. Choice and truth are what God is using to set me free and I am embracing them both!

Father, I marvel that I went so long unaware of choice. But I marvel even more at the freedom that is coming through You! Amen.

Letting Others Know

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availed much. James 5:16 (King James Version)

There are two things I use to find difficult to share with others. One was my sins, failures, weaknesses, and struggles. The other was my need for prayer. I was convinced if people knew my places of sin, sorrow, and brokenness, they would change their view of me, reject me, or just plain abandon me. I also failed to see the power and necessity of their prayers. If given, prayer requests remained general in nature as a way to not disclose any real needs of the heart. The enemy of our souls loves it when we don’t see the truth and freedom of these two aspects of the body of Christ. On the other hand, our Abba Father delights to see us embrace the truth of His words to us.

Yesterday I experienced both areas. While at work I began struggling with thoughts the enemy was using against me in order to take me down an emotional spiral. Within a few hours I knew I was in trouble. Instantly, God brought to mind a friend who is a prayer warrior. I reached for my cell phone and did something I have never done before. I sent a text to her which said, “Pray for me. Choices are hard today.” She knew what I meant as she has been helping me to see that I have a choice in the area of my thoughts. Within minutes the thoughts subsided and I began to think clearly once again. God proceeded to walk me through the necessary steps to regain my footing. Within the hour I was able to text back to her, “Victorious at last.” The rest of my afternoon went amazingly smooth! The enemy knows (and I am learning) the power that comes when we allow fellow believers to lift us up in prayer. If this is something you are not doing, I invite you to seek out the prayer warriors in your life and avail yourself of their willingness to help you in this way.

Along with that, God has placed in my life precious individuals with whom I can discuss the areas of struggle from my past and present. Last night I experienced the joy and strength of one such conversation. This is not a time to simply air my dirty laundry. This is a part of my journey to freedom! These are individuals who will listen, advise, and pray. They celebrate God’s steady work in my life and continually assure me they are not going ANYWHERE. They are my God given guard rails and support beams on this journey. I treasure them!

Father, You never meant for me to walk isolated from Your body of believers. Thank you for the ones You have crossed my path with. May Your hand of blessing be on each one of them today. Amen.

Turning Points

And they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. 2 Timothy 4:4 (New King James Version)

The Bible is very multi-layered. One thing I learned in Bible school years ago was that Scripture has one interpretation but many applications. For years I seemed to limit myself to the interpretation of Scripture and could not see the personal applications. I could understand who it was originally written to but when it came to applying it to my own life and circumstances I floundered. That is no longer the case. God’s Word comes alive to me now and each time I read it the personal applications are very evident.

Years ago, I would have read today’s verse and simply thought of the people who turn away from sound doctrine to follow after man’s philosophies and fables (falsehoods and lies). While that is the interpretation of this verse, God has wasted no time in bringing out the daily application for me. He has graciously personalized it in a precious way.

I came to know Christ as a teenager and while I was fortunate to learn a lot of sound doctrine, my mindsets and view of life were distorted in many ways. I had skewed thoughts about God, myself, people, circumstances, and how life worked. Coming to Christ and entering adulthood did not automatically “fix” all of that. While truth was introduced, lies were still embedded. I have had to come to the place of seeing that and also seeing where I have a choice in the direction my ears are turned. When I choose to listen to and believe God and what He says to me through His Word, His Spirit, and His people, I walk in victory and counter the lies. But when I (by an act of my own will) choose to listen to and believe the voice of the Enemy and my past interpretations and distortions of the truth, I struggle and fail.

Learning the truth and choosing to replace the lies with that truth is not always easy. I have had to realize that what I have grown accustomed to and comfortable with is not always best for me. I have had to ask God and other believers to help me see where my thinking is not accurate. Their answers have often brought me to tears but the tears were used to water the seeds of truth they were planting in me. As I see growth and change I am encouraged. I am also given more steps of obedience to take in order to continue learning the truth. I am noticing a shift in the counsel God gives me through others as well as a deeper awareness of my personal responsibility in what I am choosing to believe and act upon. But it is all necessary as I seek healing, wholeness, and freedom in my life.

Father, You have been patiently and persistently teaching me how to turn my ears toward truth. How painful have been the times they then turned back toward the lies. Anoint them with Your Spirit today to stay bent toward You! Amen.

Repairing the Break

So that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. I Corinthians 12:25 (New American Standard Bible)

One of things Christ prayed for while He was here on earth (and I believe still prays for in Heaven) is that there would be unity within the body of believers. The same quality of unity He shares with His Father. His desire is that there would be no division in the body….His body. When I see the word division I think of separation, a pulling apart, a break, or tear. It is not meant to be that way and yet sadly it often is.

I can tell when I am unified with a believer and I can definitely tell when something has divided us. Division for me brings discomfort and difficulty in seeing them face to face. Conversations become strained and communication may become non existent. The flow of fellowship seems to come to a stop in much the same way that a faucet has been shut off…whether gradually or quickly. Closeness is replaced by distance. Warmth is replaced by a sudden chill. The scenario is all too common in my mind and the Lord is once again asking me some direct, heart searching questions. If I put up resistance to what He is trying to teach me I will lose in many ways. Relationships will sour and friendships will dissolve. It is never worth it in the long run.

For me the break down occurs when I have allowed a spirit of offense to take root and I have neglected to take care of it in a biblical way. It may have come because I misunderstood something, read something the wrong way, or took something personal. Suspicions grew, hurt set in, pride abounded, and my flesh ruled. Whether I want to admit it or not, I can usually tell the moment a shift has taken place within me and the battle of my will begins! But when I am finally ready to stop blaming others and excusing myself, the division can be properly attended to. God’s grace is so necessary as I ask Him to once again infuse within me a humble and honest spirit. If I allow Him, He will take me through a time of breaking my will in order to restore and bless a relationship within the body of Christ.

None of this comes naturally or easily for me. I would rather hide, deny, defend, and depart. I would rather not admit I have been hurt. I would rather crawl into the comfort of other relationships. I would rather give up. But I have a loving heavenly Father who is intent on teaching me that His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. I will not grow and He will not be glorified if I do not cooperate fully in all areas!

Father, I need Your grace to take the necessary steps of reconciliation. I sense the division and I desire Your healing of a precious friendship. Fill me with Your love as I finally move in the right direction. Amen.

Ask, Walk, and Find

This is what the LORD says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.’ Jeremiah 6:16 (New International Version)

My journey is strewn with many crossroads…..places of decisions and direction, as is yours. Many options are available but God’s invitation to me is to take notice of the well warn paths of others and discover the ways that are beneficial for me to walk. If I follow in their footsteps by implementing truth with each step I am promised an internal rest that my soul craves and needs. The pathways my mind travels down each day will either lead to rest or restlessness. Therefore, I have a choice to make. I can be like the nation of Israel whom Jeremiah spoke of and refuse to walk in the good ways or I can listen to God’s pleading and yield to His invitation. I have done both and can attest to the consequences being painful or pleasant.

The Bible is full of individuals who are intended to be examples to me. I have the opportunity to learn from their failures as well as their victories. There are also countless historical figures who left me examples long after the Bible was written. And I am surrounded by individuals in my life time who serve as examples as well. I want to take note of the ones who walked paths that I would do well to follow. That I would step right into the footprints they left and reap the rich rewards of such a course of life. Then I in turn would be able to leave a trail that others could follow. What a precious cycle!

I have met individual Christians who leave such an impression on me that I desire to have what they have in their walk with God. Each time I voice that to God, He invites me to observe what they are doing and begin doing the same. Even the Apostle Paul urged believers of his day to follow him as he followed Christ. For me that means, watching their life, taking in their advice, and choosing the good way they have marked out for me. This all fits very well into my “show me an example” personality! Countless have been the times God has placed an individual in front of me and said, “See? THAT is what I am talking about!” He created me as a visual person and never fails to show me visual examples to follow. I thank Him for each one. Their words, actions, and life speak volumes to me as I open my ears, eyes, and heart to them. They are the ones who have cheered me on, encouraged me to seek God, and corrected me when I was heading in the wrong direction. May my life continue to bear fruit from their tree of influence. Their labor of love toward me has not been in vain.

Father, my spirit eyes are searching for the ancient paths. May each step I take lead me in the good way. I embrace the journey! Amen.

Freedom Through Exposure

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, because the LORD has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound. Isaiah 61:1 (New King James Version)

Initially this verse refers to our salvation experience and then it becomes the banner of freedom to all those who would take God at His word! As each one of us seek freedom in various areas of our life, God readily offers keys to unlock the bars and doors of our heart. He knows what holds us captive and imprisoned and He will systematically reveal those places to us if we would but ask. It is a process I am becoming familiar with. Wrong behavior and choices are causing me to go to Him for the truth of what is behind it all. As He reveals the truth to me, I must acknowledge it and embrace it for myself. With the truth often comes steps of obedience in order to implement change. As I cooperate with Him I experience the falling of chains and opening of prison doors!

Putting this in writing sounds so easy but making it a part of my every day life is another story all together. It is one thing to see that change in my life is needed but it is a huge step to go from that to actually asking God to reveal my heart to me. While it would be easy to focus on changing my behavior God is letting me know it will require an awareness of my heart motives. Transformation is only possible as the root causes of behavior are exposed and dealt with. For a person who is accustomed to hiding behind masks and fearing exposure, these steps are only possible by His grace.

God is presently walking me through some steps to freedom. They are often uncomfortable but I am discovering the benefits as I trust Him and cooperate. For awhile it involved simply asking Him to reveal my heart and then confessing back to Him what was going on. This morning He has introduced a new requirement and sheer terror was my initial response to Him for it involved admitting to another individual the truth God was revealing to me about myself. Talk about leaving ones comfort zone! Initially I didn’t want to do it but once I did I experienced freedom. In my case, exposure is a key that has unlocked a door I have been trapped behind. Now that this person knows the truth about me I will be less likely to continue a particular behavior. God has blown my “cover” and that has set me free!

Father, hiding has robbed me of joy and peace far too often. Truth has set me free and grace has helped me to walk in that freedom. Seeing who I am and admitting what I am like is accompanied by the sound of falling chains. Amen.

Peaceful Anticipation

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. Psalm 130:5 (New International Version)

Recently, I have had several conversations with several different people pertaining to several different issues and yet the message I keep receiving from God through them is the same…..wait on God. Being the kind of person who wants quick fixes and easy answers, this phrase is a challenge for me. The truth of the matter is that I don’t LIKE to wait and often don’t know HOW to wait. Far too many times than I care to admit, “waiting” becomes an opportunity for me to take matters into my own hands in order to “help God out.” How absurd to think that God needs my help and how even more absurd to think that I could actually help Him! After all, He is the One with the perfect timing, perfect view, perfect wisdom, perfect plan, and perfect character. I on the other hand exude imperfection in all of the afore mentioned categories!

I find it interesting that the words “wait” and “hope” are identical in meaning. They come from Hebrew words that mean to wait, look for, hope, and expect. They do not imply an inactive twiddling of thumbs but rather active anticipation. I am not waiting and hoping in the right way if I am bothered, disturbed, anxious, doubtful, or fearful. And that is often the case when I feel the responsibility rests on my shoulders. It is times like that when I realize I am not waiting for God and hoping in His Word, but rather I am relying on myself and the people in my life to bring about a desired end.

As with so many areas in life, waiting stems from trust and truth. My trust in God must be a confident reliance in His unchanging, unlimited, unending character. What I really know and believe about God will greatly affect my trust in Him and hence affect my ability to wait on Him. And what do I do during the wait?

Faithfully carry out His day by day instructions to me and review the truth that I matter to Him and He is passionately involved in my life. It all goes back to my relationship with Him and living my life out of connection with Him. Jesus said it best when He said, “Abide in me.” I have also heard it referred to as practicing His presence. It is getting into His Word and allowing His Word to get into me. Talking to Him and listening as He speaks to me. Meditating on the truths He teaches me. It is not a formula, it is faith and it is based entirely on who God is! My waiting is not in vain and will be rewarded beyond my wildest imagination.

Father, I wait on You for healing, direction, and opportunities! You really do make all things beautiful in YOUR time! Amen!