Seeing for Myself

They said to the woman, "We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.“ John 4:42 (New International Version)

Some are satisfied and content to let the words and experiences of others be their end all. I know the truth of that, for unlike the people of Samaria I often lived my Christian life watching and listening to others. As a teen, newly born into the family of God, it did not take me long to begin observing others as a way of learning how to live as a Christian. Good examples abounded and it felt safer to let those examples be my guide.

That is understandable for a fourteen year old. But now that I am in my early 50’s I have to question the tendency that still resides in me to take my leading from others. I still catch myself taking note of how another person walks with God and then proceed to follow rather than venture off on my own and discover my own unique, authentic walk.

I long for the day when I speak the words of the Samaritans which basically said, “We see it for ourselves now!” Whether it is in the area of prayer, applying biblical principals, setting standards, or just communing with God, it is imperative that my walk not be a mere copy of others. Copying their mannerisms, their style, their choices sets me up for a life of emptiness which is void of a genuine connection with God.

So I am asking myself a few questions. What am I afraid of? Why is the thought of individually seeking God so daunting and tenacious at times? Why is it so appealing to just look at others? Why do I pattern my walk after people who are not me? After nearly four decades of knowing Christ why am I still not fully venturing out on my own?

God and God alone can answer those questions for me. Through the futility of my former seeking He has my attention. I am poised to hear Him for myself. No longer intent or content to let another person show me, tell me, or direct me, I finally step out to approach Jesus on my own. Any other teacher leaves me with more questions than answers. Any other guide fills me with confusion. It is time I see Him for myself.

Father, help me to know You, see You, and encounter You in a way that is unique and individual for me. I am weary of trying to be someone other than who You made me. Amen.

When You Call My Name - Vineyard
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4Ce45YmVyE&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.