Emaciated Living

And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul. Psalm 106:15

We can all recall pictures we have seen of starving children in third world countries, concentration camp victims from Hitler’s era, and even individuals caught in the vicious cycle of anorexia. Gaunt faces, pronounced thinness, and skeletal like features leave us horrified. For some the condition was brought on by another person. For others it was a result of their own choices. But either way it is heart wrenching to say the least. It is easy to detect physical problems. It is much harder to detect a leanness of the soul….whether in another person or in ourselves.

It does not take a person much time to begin formulating in their mind what they think will bring satisfaction to their life. For some people it is material wealth. They think if they could just earn enough money and possess enough “stuff” they could live internally satisfied. For others it is in gaining power and prestige in their community. Popularity, adventure, and recognition allure many with the false hope of satisfaction. For me, it has always been in relationships. For decades I thought people could give me what I lacked on my own. I wanted to find that special person who could take away the hurt, give me significance, nurture my spirit, and somehow make me feel loved. But that person does not exist outside of Christ.

Many times, God will allow us to have the very things we think will bring us satisfaction but in addition to that He will also send a leanness into our soul. An emptiness, a void, a cavern. I am reminded of the saying that each of us is born with a vacuum deep within us that only God can fill. That is so true! And I am just now beginning to learn how to go to Him for that filling.

On July 13 I will have known Him as my Savior for 33 years but I am just now taking baby steps into allowing Him access into the parts of me that no person has been able to reach, fix, heal, or satisfy. I feel like blinders are being removed and I am catching the first glimpses of what the Christian life is really meant to be like. May He never allow me to find satisfaction in any source other than Himself.

Father, You have waited so long for me to begin to see my idols. They didn’t satisfy. The hunger in my soul now seeks nourishment from You. Feed me! Amen.