Whose am I Seeking?

Nevertheless many even of the rulers believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they were not confessing Him, for fear that they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the approval of men rather than the approval of God. John 12:42-43 (New American Standard Bible)

Changing one’s mind, actions, or beliefs because of the opinion, judgment, or view of another person can be an unstable path to walk out your faith. According to today’s verse, there were rulers who believed in Jesus but would not let it be known because they feared the ramifications of the Pharisees. The approval of those in “charge” meant more to them than God’s approval. The sad thing is they were content to let it be that way. The approval of others is where they derived their honor, dignity, identity and security. In their minds, they could not afford to lose that approval and acceptance even at the risk of God’s disapproval.

I have spent most of the past four decades living with such approval seeking tendencies. So sure that others knew better than me and were wiser than me, I let them be in charge of my decisions and the direction of my life. Even if I was sure of something, one question on their part left me in doubt. I looked to them to set my standards, establish my guard rails, and dictate my belief system. I seemed to be more in tune of what they wanted of me and for me rather than what God wanted. Decisions could not be made with assurance unless I ran it past them first. This wasn’t their doing as much as it was mine. Unlike in the days of Jesus with the Pharisees, the people I sought approval from really had my best interest at heart. So what was wrong?

My relationship with God was often sketchy. I lacked the confidence that God could walk me through issues and difficulties. I left it up to others to tell me when I was right and when I was wrong. Even now when I know what it is like to hear God speak to me in my spirit, I still sense a need to run it by those I have come to trust. While the Bible says that there is wisdom found in a multitude of counselors, I can sometimes turn that into second guessing God and the things I know He has spoken to me.

The solution? Begin having more private conversations with God and taking the steps He directs me to take without asking people’s opinion. That is not easy for me. As a matter of fact it is both scary and uncomfortable. But I believe it is the necessary in order to develop stronger spiritual muscles. It will help me to become more dependent on God rather than on others. It is how I can begin to have a more intimate, connected walk with God. When the time is right, I can share with others what God is doing. Not out of a need for their nod of approval but as a way of acknowledging what God is doing.

Father, the journey is shifting once again. Replace my fears with anticipation of what You are about to do. My eyes are on You and my hand is in Yours. Lead me, guide me, change me. Amen.

My Deliverer - Chris Tomlin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmGeeNDJzx0

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Limited Perspective

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. I Samuel 16:7 (New King James Version)

God’s words to Samuel, as he considered the next king for Israel, became instructional for me as I do some soul searching and truth seeking. Which of us have not been guilty of drawing false conclusions based upon that which we can see with our physical eyes? Which of us have not experienced being on the receiving end of such conclusions? There are times when our conclusions fall in favor of another person and times when they go against them. The problem is, one can be just as false as the other.

For decades people drew the conclusion that I was a strong Christian and right with God based solely upon the fact that I carried the “right” Bible, listened to the “right” music, attended the “right” church, spoke the “right” words, fellowshipped with the “right” Christians, and did the “right” things. Their criteria for spirituality was faulty. All those “right” things were easily done without having an intimate walk with God. It was not that I didn’t want it, it was that I just didn’t have it. I somehow felt if I could just keep doing the “right” things it would eventually result in closeness to God. I had the religion of Christianity down pat. Even knew Jesus as my Savior. But I faltered in my daily relationship and connection with God.

Several years ago that all changed and so did people’s conclusions. When I dared to step out of the acceptable “box” I had willingly lived in for so many years I was then labeled as backslidden, rebellious, and a liberal. The part that crushed me and can still so easily bring me to tears was that at neither point could these individuals see my heart. God is tenderly teaching me THAT is the reason I must not seek the approval and acceptance of people. God, and God alone, knows my heart, sees every detail of my life, and has witnessed every experience I have been through. Some know me better than others but NO one knows me like God knows me. Like myself, they are limited and must operate by their five senses. Unless God gifts them with true discernment they most likely will conclude the wrong thing. We all will!

I need to see and be reminded often that the One who knows me best and loves me most is the One whose opinion and favor I must seek. His is the only one that really matters.

Father, whenever I have wrestled with painful issues You have been gracious to settle my heart and mind. May I daily acknowledge my own limited perspectives and that of others. I bow to You as the only qualified and righteous Judge. Amen.

Came to My Rescue - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAMbEPZfWCY

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Not Setting Myself Up

All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. 1 Corinthians 6:12 (New King James Version)

Paul knew there were many things he was allowed to do and yet if doing those things led to addiction or bondage he avoided them. Unless things are spelled out specifically in Scripture and begin with the phrase, “Thou shalt not” each of us must individually determine what to steer clear of….what to avoid. Sometimes, many times, the knowing of those things is brought about after experiencing the pull.

This truth is easy for me to grasp when it comes to an area such as food. Certain foods are trigger foods for me. To partake means an over whelming urge to over indulge. They are not the foods I can eat in moderation therefore they really should be avoided. This is cut and dry for me. It is a black and white area. I have no question as to whether or not I should make other choices. I know my limits. I know the consequence if I don’t apply this principle. My track record speaks for itself.

This morning, I am applying this truth to another area of my life. Unlike food, this is not a physical aspect but rather an emotional one. I am aware of certain things that will trigger negative emotions in me. Presently, I do not do well when those emotions are triggered so it is necessary for me to see what things should be avoided so that I am not “brought under the power” of a downward spiral.

I look back over the past week, one that has been filled with battles in my mind, and I see certain things I could have chosen NOT to do….certain things I could have not said, certain emails I could have not sent, certain expectations I could have not entertained. With each one a negative emotion resulted. I paid the price as did those who crossed my path. God and I will be walking through those instances in a time of acknowledgement, confession, and receiving of forgiveness. It will allow me the fresh start I need as I head into a new day.

I look forward to the day when the things I avoid now can once again be enjoyed. When my walk becomes such that a trigger is handled in the right way. For now, I would rather not set myself up for a battle.

Father, bring me to the place whereby I operate out of faith and confidence rather than out of dread and fear. Amen.

A Different Road - Kathy Troccoli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-P2awWTLmGU

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Who Are We Running To?

But when God, who had set me apart even from my mother's womb and called me through His grace, was pleased to reveal His Son in me so that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately consult with flesh and blood, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; but I went away to Arabia, and returned once more to Damascus. Galatians 1:15-17 (New American Standard Bible)

At one time, I would have read Paul’s words and limited them to Paul’s story only. Set apart from my mother’s womb and called through His grace? They were words that I couldn’t seem to fit into the realms of my belief system. It would require a confidence that I was not invisible, unknown, and unwanted by the Creator of the universe. How far from the truth that all is and how I praise God it is no longer the case! I no longer have trouble slipping my name into such precious passages of Scripture.

Yet one phrase has caught my attention this morning and already I am pondering the full ramifications of it. When Paul had his encounter with God and started his walk as a Christian, he “did not immediately consult” others….not even those who were apostles before him. Knowing myself and how easily I have and still do run to others, I am asking myself why Paul didn’t. The answers God is whispering to me are astounding me and reshaping my thinking.

Paul had lived the life of a Pharisee. He could all too well remember how he had allowed others to dictate doctrine, faith, standards, and conduct to him. His former life was one lived more in connection with people than with God. Their opinions and advice were held on equal footing with God’s Word (being the Old Testament only at that time). Along with that there would have been a sense of safety derived from being under the care of others. He knew little of discerning God’s voice and direction for himself. Continuing to live in such a mode would be disastrous and not enough to equip and prepare him for what lay ahead. Allowing others to give him the foundational building materials for his walk with God would for sure set him on shaky ground. At some point early on, Paul made the conscious decision to allow God to be His primary Instructor and Guide. It is not that Paul could never again confide in others and listen to their wisdom, but he knew his beginning steps and many subsequent steps had to be with God alone.

Today’s thoughts come as no surprise to me because God has spent the past several days helping me to see that there are times I need to seek His face, His Word and His voice alone. It is a shift whereby I must derive my sense of safety and direction from Him. If I know what He wants me to do in any given situation then there is no need to run it past others. If I know I have heard His voice on an issue then there is no need to seek a second opinion. There will be times when the counsel of others is appropriate and necessary, but God is wanting me to see that for me it must become the exception rather than the rule.

Father, there are many reasons I have run to others before, after, or instead of talking to You. Help me to check my motives behind my seeking them out from this point on. Help me to gain confidence in my seeking of You. Amen.

Sing for Joy - Don Moen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBVeBmwVPN0&feature=PlayList&p=A0420A7CA644FA0C&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=32

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Assured by His Presence

Lo, I am with you always. Matthew 28:20 (New American Standard Bible)

These were the words spoken by Jesus as He gave the great commission to His disciples, but they serve as words of comfort to me this morning. Right now, in this moment, I am not on a spiritual high and neither am I in a valley of despair. I am somewhere in the middle and I just need the reminder that He is with me even now. I am glad He knows what I need.

Earlier as I read Scripture and a number of devotional books nothing in particular stood out. Actually, I was finding it hard to concentrate and focus. That always makes me wonder. In fact, it can fill me with thoughts that are far from secure. God knows that about me and wants me to learn to relax with Him. To know that right now, He still holds me, watches over me, and nudges me forward.

While I am one who loves excitement, today feels so normal it is almost scary. And God whispers, “I am with you.” I don’t know what today holds, and He says, “I do and I am with you.” I feel uncertain, but He says, “I am very certain and I am with you.” He is inviting me to live out of His words in Matthew 11:28-30 which say, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

My soul needs rest. To be still and know that He is God. No striving, no struggling, no trying to figure it all out. Just rest, stillness, and knowing Him. For He knows that unless I learn to “settle in” with Him in this moment, I will not be ready to walk with Him through more challenging moments. It all comes down to yielding and trust. Tenseness must give way to His voice. Life has slowed down and God wants me to slow down as well. Not necessarily on the outside. I will still head off to work in about an hour. But rather to slow down internally. Savor the preciousness of His presence. Trust the moving and impulses of His Spirit rather than the direction of my own personality, temperament, and flesh. That in itself will make an otherwise ordinary day extraordinary!

Father, I am not use to this. Without Your persistent assurance I don’t think I would see this as beneficial. So today I choose to rest in You. Amen.

Reining in the Impulsiveness

With all my heart I have sought You; do not let me wander from Your commandments. Psalm 119:10 (New American Standard Bible)

He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water. Isaiah 49:10 (New International Version)

If I am not discerning, it is often easy to mistaken impulsiveness for God‘s nudging. There have been numerous times in my life when an idea would come to mind and without taking the time to search out the matter or even take it to God for clear direction, I have run full steam ahead in the wrong direction! Going through each day without consulting God is a haphazard and dangerous way to live the Christian life. But oh the joy that comes when I enter His throne room with an honest desire to know His will! Such was the case throughout last night and into this morning.

I had two different issues I was ready to move forward on until various sources encouraged me to really pray about my decisions and wait for clear direction from the Lord. They didn’t say whether or not they agreed with what I was considering, they just urged me to see what God would have me do. I believe God was revealing to them an impulsiveness on my part whereby I was acting independent of Him. I was assuming what sounded good and made sense to me automatically carried His seal of approval. Such childish faith on my part is what God desires to rein in and mature in me.

So, I did what I have learned is the wise thing in cases of uncertainty. I heeded their advice and began earnestly praying about my plans. Within minutes God began to give me insight into one of the two areas. I saw much of it was based in fear and a strong desire to “fix” things on my own. Lack of trust was abounding! As I continued to seek Him, He began to show me a much better way to handle the situation. His counsel continues to pour over me as He now has my attention.

The second issue was not put to rest until this morning. While there may come a time to proceed with the course of action, right now is not the time. There are too many variables involved that require His leading and guiding. I rest in the fact that what needs to be revealed will be revealed in His way and in His time. If I am to be His spokeswoman to another individual I will accept that position, but if not I will remain silent and yet fierce in prayer. I have sought Him. He has guided me and lead me beside precious streams of water. I rejoice!

Father, Your ways are higher than my ways, and Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts. I trust Your wisdom and I follow Your lead! Amen.

The Way of Escape

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. I Corinthians 10:13 (New American Standard Bible)

I marvel at the unique ways God chooses to act on our behalf. He is not tied into any one system or limited in His options. The temptations that may come our way in any given day are varied and so are His means of escape. The temptation is not always toward blatant sin and it is times when it is not that we must be even more careful to guard our hearts and minds. Such was the case this past week when I was considering doing something that I questioned whether or not I should actually do. Twice I was faced with a temptation that seemed innocent enough and yet something in me wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do. What made it even more unsettling was that at one time both were beneficial to my walk with God. The more I pondered it the more I realized the necessity to pray about it…so I did.

I asked God to simply show me the source of the temptation. He did that but also showed me something else that helped put things into perspective. He let me see that the enemy of my soul was behind it all and was intent on tripping me up in an area God was touching in my life. His desire was to get me distracted and defeated. Then God clearly showed me what would happen if I gave in to the temptation. For the first one, He let me know if I acted upon my urges the results would be the exact opposite of what I was hoping for. For the second temptation He let me know I would not receive the same benefit I had once enjoyed. Once I saw the consequences, the temptation lost its appeal and pull. His revelation to me had become my way of escape. I have learned a whole new approach to walking in victory.

God is in our corner when it comes to living out the Christian life. He knows us thoroughly. He will do whatever it takes to aid us in our walk with Him. While choices abound we must be willing to ask ourselves some tough questions. Will what I am thinking of doing benefit and strengthen me spiritually? Will it help or hinder my growth? Will it showcase God’s work in my life? Will the end result be worthwhile? If the answer to any of these questions is no then I must say no to the thought. In the long run I will be glad I did.

Father, I need Your wisdom and counsel each step of the way. You know the beginning and ending of every action. Help me always choose Your will and Your way. Amen.

When Others Have It Wrong

So these three men stopped answering Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes. Job 32:1 NIV

This verse follows 30 chapters of conversation between Job and three of his friends. They thought they knew the reason for the loss of Job’s children, wealth, and health. Stripped of everything but his life, they were convinced it was all due to something Job had done wrong. They brought accusation upon accusation against Job and he simply responded with the truth. They based their judgments on the belief that difficulties only come into one’s life because of personal sin. It was obvious to them that God had turned His back on Job and was punishing him for something he had done. No matter what Job said they were sure they were right.

What they did not know was that the difficulties had to do with satanic involvement not personal failure. Although Job was not sinless, God gave an impressive report about him to Satan. According to Job 1:8, God stated of Job, “there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God, and shuns evil.” Satan was sure this was only due to the fact that Job had it so well in life. Convinced that he could get Job to turn away from God by bringing pain, suffering, and loss into his life, God allowed him to carry out his plan. God knew Job well enough to know he would pass the test! Job knew his heart and did not let the opinions of others persuade him otherwise. He has become a shining example to me!

I am sure each of us can attest to a time in our life when we were misunderstood or misjudged. We have done it ourselves and have had it done to us. There are times others may have it right. God has given them the ability to discern us wisely and accurately. But there are also times this is not the case. They think they know us and have drawn conclusions from a limited perspective. It is during these times that we must ask God to show us His truth and perspective. He is the only One who really knows our heart and our full story. He will let us know if another person’s words are meant for us or if we need to simply walk away from what is being said. As a person who is use to crawling under the care of people, I can bear witness to the difficulty of walking away from the opinions of others. But it is necessary if I am going to take God up on His invitation of “come unto Me!”

I don’t ever want to ignore God’s message to me when it comes from the mouth of a person. I have been blessed to have Him send individuals into my life for that very purpose. However, I have also experienced well meaning people who had it wrong and the enemy used their words to attempt to shut down the very thing God was doing in my life. May God help me know when either is happening.

Father, help me to trust Your voice above the voice of others. If they are sent by You to speak to me let me see that. If their words are not of You let me see that as well. Amen.