Acknowledging and Asking

My soul weeps because of grief; Strengthen me according to Your word. Remove the false way from me, and graciously grant me Your law. Psalm 119:28-29 (New American Standard Bible)

Acknowledging to God how I am feeling and what I am thinking, and asking Him for the what I really need have become essential elements of my journey. David is my example of how that is done and I am grateful for his precious instructions. There was a time not too many years ago when admitting the truth to God was difficult for me because of my wrong concept of God. I had the idea that His goal was for me to always be in a good mood. So I did a lot of pretending. Not any more! When sadness marks my day, I tell Him. When feelings of loneliness engulf me, I let Him know. When I am filled with regret, I confide in Him. When fear wraps itself around me, I express it to Him. When negative thinking becomes my mental diet, I admit it to Him. For I have learned those are the first steps toward release. Then it is time to ask Him for what I need. I look to Him to strengthen me with His Word and to remove the false ways in me. I marvel at His ability!

What are the false ways? All that is not of Him or meant for me. The strongholds and addictions, lies I am believing, distorted perceptions of people and situations, coping mechanisms, relational masking, bents toward idolatry, and any other way I have attempted to get needs met apart from Him. He exposes each one so that I will see what needs to be removed and then He faithfully works to remove it. Are they gone completely? Not yet but I sense the loosening of their grip. I sense a desire for change and He honors that!

A friend once told me that I have spent my life looking for ways to get needs met that were unmet in my childhood. I haven’t forgotten her words and I see the truth of what she said in multiple ways. God knows I must see what it is I am doing before I can look to Him to change me. This was scary and uncomfortable at first but over time I have learned I can trust Him to do what Hebrews 13:21 says. To equip me in every good thing to do His will, working in me that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ. I can trust Him to bring in to and take out of my life that which is necessary for my spiritual growth. Those things that I once thought would do me in have become His greatest sculpturing tools.

Father, help me to keep acknowledging the truth to You and asking for Your help. Thank you for being my Potter. Continue to mold me into Your masterpiece. Amen.

WARRIOR IS A CHILD/ DO I TRUST YOU? ~ Twila Paris
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Pzu-jWpcdw

What I am Now

For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority. Colossians 2:9,10 (New American Standard Bible)

I have seen the lists before. I am referring to the lists of all that I am in Christ. The problem was that I often read them as a wish list rather than acknowledging them as truth and proceeding to live out of that truth. I didn’t realize the significance of seeing myself in light of that truth. Instead, I focused on all the things I was in the flesh. My weaknesses, failures, and shortcomings were the very things from which I drew my identity. They were constantly on my mind and in my face.

That was the case last night as I lay in bed and was reduced to tears. My final thought before drifting off to sleep was how much I needed God’s help in every area of my life. I so often turn to people and books for answers, but last night I turned to my Father. He saw the tears and heard the cry of my heart. This morning the answers are coming.

In reading through Psalm 119, I was drawn to David’s references of meditating on God’s Word, works, and ways. God’s point to me was that I must purposefully and wisely choose to dwell on the truth rather than on lies, distortions, and wrong perceptions. Think on the right things and today’s passage started the ball rolling for me.

Right now (not some day) I am complete in Christ! I not only have all I need in Him, I am all in Him. Those lists I referenced at the start of this devotional are now filling my mind as I finally view myself as forgiven, loved, chosen, cherished, accepted, cared for, watched over, held, protected, established, settled, blessed, precious, delighted in, sung over, and His daughter! Those are the things I must chose to meditate upon through out today and into the night. They must be constantly on my mind and in my face. They are the banners that are meant to dance across the full realm of my imagination.

Do they eliminate the things I still am in my flesh? No. But they far exceed them and it is to my benefit to let them be predominant in my thinking. When that is the case, I am practicing the truths God has been showing me over the past few years. It has been good to take in the truth but God now invites me to live out of those truths and see Him transform me in profound ways.

Father, I finally get it! Thank you for repeating Yourself in numerous ways until I grasped what You were saying. Amen.


Who am I - Casting Crowns
http://youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q

His Invitation

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3 (New King James Version)

I cannot always explain it but I can definitely tell when it comes upon me. That uneasy feeling that something is wrong. A list begins to formulate in my mind and before I know it I house thoughts of failure, condemnation, shame and a sense that I am not doing anything right. I am not doing enough. No matter where I look (be it in my prayer life, Bible reading, family life, relationships, or daily responsibilities) I draw the conclusion that I am letting myself, others, and even God down. Then, like a child who is handed a huge ball of yarn and expected to untangle it, I stand bewildered with no idea of where to start or what to do. It is the sense of knowing something is wrong but not knowing how to begin to fix it.

At times like this I know two things: the enemy is at work and my Father is inviting me to once again rest in Him. Those thoughts that lead to condemnation, self loathing, failure, and disgust are Satan’s calling cards. He wants nothing more than to see me wrap myself in the mental images he presents to me. God, on the other hand, lets me know peace comes through fixing my eyes on Him and trusting Him. He is bringing to mind the truths of hiding in Him, being sheltered by Him, resting in Him, relying upon Him, and abiding under the shadow of His wings.

This morning, God is inviting me to do some reviewing of basic, necessary truths. He loves me with an everlasting love. He lavishes me with forgiveness and acceptance as seen in the father of the prodigal son. He sings over me. He nurtures me just like a doting mother and father would do. He supplies all of my needs and delights in doing so. He is for me. He is not angry with me, merely tolerating me, or disappointed in me. He is not comparing me to His other children. He delights in being my Father and in me being His child.

He knows the thoughts that have been playing in my mind and He longs to set me free from them. The answer is not to just do better. The answer is to draw near to Him and allow Him to reassure me of His heart for me. The result will be peace, joy, and satisfaction. None of which can be manufactured on my own or apart from Him. They are His gifts of relationship and are found only in Him. He is saying, “Come aside with Me for a while. You need to once again allow Me to nurture and strengthen you. You need to once again see My perspective of you and your life. I am here. Come to Me.”

Father, I need the reminders of You this morning. Settle my heart and redirect my thoughts until Your perfect peace over takes me. Amen.

The Voice of Hope - Lara Martin
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qbk1TGe5k0Q

A Different Response

You know my reproach and my shame and my dishonor; all my adversaries are before You. Psalm 69:19 (New American Standard Bible)

Many carry feelings of shame over past sins if they have not fully embraced God’s love, acceptance and forgiveness for them. Along with the shame is the fear that if people knew what was in their past and present, respect would be lost and abandonment would be forthcoming. The mere thought of exposure fills them with indescribable terror.

I have a few mental images of people who felt the shame of being found out. Adam and Eve grasping for leaves and self imposed hiding. The woman caught in adultery and thrown at the feet of Jesus. Jim Baker being arrested and taken away in handcuffs. Countless people whose past caught up with them and the very thing they tried to keep hidden from those whom they loved the most being exposed. Webster’s dictionary says shame is “a painful feeling of having lost the respect of others because of improper conduct or incompetence.” Each of us carries the deep need to be loved, accepted, affirmed, and included. Shame tells us that not only do we not deserve those things but what little we have found will be taken from us.

The worst kind of shame is public humiliation. A one on one scenario does not begin to compare with standing before a jeering crowd who wear scorn and disapproval on their faces and tones of disgust in their voices. It is shame that makes us want to hide, play pretend, and go to any lengths to keep our secrets a secret. How many people do you know who would remain supportive of you and loving toward you if they knew the contents of your “closet?” I have often said that the true test of love is not what people think of us when they know the best about us but rather when they know the worst.

The One who knows me best and has the most reason to reject me is the One who loves me most and fully accepts me….God! His response to me is tenderness, gentleness, and open arms when I dare to admit what He already knows about me. He is the One who wipes the dirt from my face, dries the tears in my eyes, brushes the hair off my brow, wraps His arms around me and walks me out of the room in which I was hiding. It has taken me a long time to realize the truth about God and His radical love.

Father, You not only know the feelings and conditions of my shame but the causes as well. With You there is gracious acceptance. Thank You!

Before the Throne of God Above
http://youtube.com/watch?v=f0S5Z0H4SpI

Embracing Forgiveness

So David said to God, “I have sinned greatly, because I have done this thing; but now, I pray, take away the iniquity of Your servant, for I have done very foolishly.” I Chronicles 21:8 (New King James Version)

David had allowed himself to be manipulated by Satan. He took a census of his people and brought about God’s wrath. Heartbroken and repentant of his sin, he prayed the equivalent of I John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” David’s confession entailed acknowledging his sin, taking responsibility for his sin, realizing the sin was against God, seeking God’s forgiveness and cleansing, and turning from his sin. He came into agreement with God concerning his sin. The result? While there were still consequences, he was forgiven, cleansed, and restored to right fellowship with God. Oh, that we could grasp the necessity and simplicity of right confession and promised restoration! Too often that is not the case. And why is that?

Sometimes it may have to do with the way discipline was handled in our life as a small child. If it was simply a time of anger and punishment we tend to put that response on God. We struggle to see Him as the loving father of the returning prodigal. There may be a tendency to be consumed with guilt, shame, and regret while sensing anger in His eyes, harshness in His voice, and resistance in His heart. Uncertainty that God would actually long for forgiveness and reconciliation we may opt for the route Adam and Eve took and go into hiding. What a tragedy that any time would be wasted on taking God up on His extravagant offer of forgiveness!

We also walk in ignorance of how involved Satan is in all of this. He is the ultimate deceiver, tempter, seducer, and provoker. While he cannot force us to sin, he and his cohorts do a masterful job at dangling temptations in front of us, using our weaknesses, and targeting the right areas. Once we give in to his suggestions, he then distorts the truth about God and the availability of forgiveness. While God offers cleansing, he convinces us it is too late, too hard, or too costly to accept it.

May we learn to live as David lived. Yes he sinned but he knew God in such a way that he was able to acknowledge the sin and embrace the forgiveness! He was a man after God’s own heart because God’s heart is always directed toward reconciliation. His experience of radical forgiveness can be ours if we would just reach out and take it!

Father, You have seen me cower and hide many times. Thank you for showing me the nature and gift of forgiveness. May David’s story be my own! Amen.

Mercy Said No - CECE WINANS
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z_SjhKJgqGg&feature=related

When I Would Rather Not Say

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. Psalm 139:1-4 (New International Version)

David knew that God knew him inside and out. There was not a thought, word, or action that ever escaped His notice. To God, he was an open book and he had no trouble admitting the times he was angry, fearful, lonely, upset, suspicious, jealous, sinful, sad, excited, joyful, or just plain beside himself. He knew how to praise God as well as question Him. He knew how to cry tears of joy as well as tears of sorrow on God’s shoulder. He knew the freedom of saying, “Here is what is really going on inside of me!” He does that very thing through out the entire book of Psalms.

Oh, how I need the reminders of God this morning. I need to once again curl up with the truth that He knows me….really knows me! He is perceptive, discerning, and familiar with every thing about me. How intimate! His question of “How are you?” is never meant to invoke shame or cause me to lose eye contact with Him. He knows it all and wants to hear it all from my mouth. Honest, open dialogue is what He wants to draw me into with Himself. Rather than shallow, general statements, He wants raw, vulnerable conversation with all the specifics. With Him, one question leads to others which always run deep. He is after the roots and causes of my feelings and my thoughts.

I grew up in a home where that just wasn’t done. Questions were not asked and feelings were not shared. There seemed to be a sense that sharing meant risks. The risk of being misunderstood or worse yet ignored. Hence, I was not one to confide. Instead, I internalized and still do that today. God wants to change that. He wants me to open up more with Him and others even when I’m afraid and apprehensive. Even when the thought fills me with a sense of failure, embarrassment, and uneasiness. Even when everything in me is convinced it is safer to not do so. Is there a risk? Absolutely! But God is letting me know that without taking that risk I will never know what it is like to be unconditionally loved and accepted. I know that is the case with Him. He wants me to see there are individuals who will do the same. They have His heart.

God whispers to me, “Come out of hiding, Pam. Hiding behind a smile and an ‘all is well’ façade. Those who know you best can see the truth in your eyes and hear it in your voice. I will listen and so will they but you must talk. You must share. You must admit the truth in the inward parts. Trust Me and the ones I bring into your life.”

Father, You are showing me the hindrances in my relationship with You as well as with others. Help me to find my voice amidst the silence. Amen.


He Knows My Name by Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXsiWoyjw60

Every Thought

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (New American Standard Bible)

The picture has been clear in my mind for days. I see myself within a cave with numerous caverns. The biggest and darkest part reveals chains hanging from a portion of the wall. Although they are long and foreboding they have no lock. I have three choices. I can stay far away from them, return to a close proximity of them, or wrap myself up in them and allow them to hold me captive. What are the chains? Thought patterns that would easily spiral me down emotionally. The enemy of my soul wants nothing more than to lure me to them and his attempts at doing that are endless. He uses various thoughts, situations, memories, even music, as bait that has lines leading right to the chains. I must be aware of the connection he will make if given the chance. If I don’t resist and I just keep dwelling on the thoughts, I will find myself wrapped in the chains.

So how do I keep that from happening? How do I stay away from the chains? I must stay acutely aware of what he is doing and how he is doing it. I must look for where my thoughts will eventually lead me. Those that lead to the chains must not be allowed to play out in my mind. The moment I am aware of dangerous thinking I must do what today’s verse clearly says…destroy them and take each one captive. The choice is mine, the responsibility is mine, and through Christ, the ability is mine.

It helps me to acknowledge what it would mean if I don the chains. It would mean sadness, shame, discouragement, and darkness. To that I say “no thank you!” I don’t want it and don’t need it. Resisting, renouncing, and rejecting each thought works! I may not be able to stop the enemy from his attempts, but I can certainly stop him from being victorious. Today, I still see the cave and the chains. I know this will be another day of battle but I also know the outcome as I obey the instructions Christ has given me. I have tasted defeat as well as victory in this area of mindsets and imaginations. Today I choose victory!

I stand on the truth that I am a privileged participant in a battle that truly belongs to the Lord. He has supplied me with all I need to fight successfully. I am aware of my enemy and his tactics, but even more aware of my Lord and the armor He has supplied for me. Through His Word and His Spirit I will stand. Stand indeed!

Father, so often I have been intimidated by the attacks and attempts of the enemy. Today, I straighten my back, square my shoulders, and poise myself for the battles You will help me win! I praise You for the triumph of Your ways. Amen.

The Battle Belongs to The Lord - Spiritual Warfare
http://youtube.com/watch?v=DMZ8D6nTKhg

Never On My Own

Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (New American Standard Bible)

Oh how these words speak comfort to my soul! Last night, I found myself getting fearful and anxious about today because I knew human hands were not going to be sustaining me. I knew I would be needing to apply some recently learned truths throughout the day and there would be no person walking along side me as I did it. The thought itself made me uneasy and I asked God why it was that way. His answer was quick in coming. He helped me to see that being outside the voice and view of individuals whom I have come to trust leaves me feeling alone and on my own. He was right! Then He began to assure me that I was not alone or on my own at all. He helped me to realize the preciousness of His presence that would go with me and remain with me throughout my day.

As I step into today I am very aware that His eye and hand are on me. His ear is open to my cries for help. His Spirit indwells me and I am infused with His Word. His counsel will be available and trustworthy. He will faithfully supply my needs throughout today. It was all there yesterday and it will certainly be here today. Nothing has changed in regards to His strengthening, helping, and upholding me with His righteous right arm. As I see all of that I am enveloped with a peace that I have known little of in my life time.

Far too many times I have focused on the help and encouragement that came from people, when all the while the God of the Universe longed for me to see Him as my primary Source for every thing. Even what I was receiving from people was coming from Him. As I come to see the truth of that, I am realizing the absence of His vessels never removes the very things He gives me through them. From time to time, people will be there for me but once again I embrace the truth that He is my Shepherd, Guide, Helper, Defender, Stronghold, Protector, Counselor, Friend, Shield, Security, and constant Companion. I go into this day firmly held and abound with the joy of it all!

Father, You have never stepped away for even a moment. I have never been out of Your sight or care. Thank you for all the times that will be evident to me throughout today! Amen.

All I once held dear - Robin Mark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SI6_4KxTg2k

Answered When I Asked

As soon as you began to pray, an answer was given. Daniel 9:23 (New International Version)

I have often thought of my prayers as being “answered” when I could see the manifestation of that answer. I am being taught something profound from the book of Daniel this morning that is altering my view of prayer. According to Daniel 9:23, my prayers, those which are spoken in Jesus’ name and according to His will, are answered as soon as I voice them. The New American Standard Bible says the command is issued at the beginning of my supplication.

When I have read accounts in Scripture of instant healings and deliverances, I have drawn the conclusion that all answers to prayer look like that. When that is not the case, I flounder at Jesus’ words that tell me to ask anything in His name and it shall be given. Because I don’t see instant change in my circumstances or life I assume I have either asked in a wrong way or misunderstood His promise. This morning He is smiling as He tenderly shows me I have asked correctly and His promise has been kept.

So what’s the problem? Why does it seem that the things I have petitioned Him for have fallen on deaf ears? What happened? I failed to understand that time can lapse between God granting my request and me experiencing the answer. It doesn’t mean He hasn’t answered my prayer. It means there are things that must be done in and around me to bring about the full manifestation of that answer. Let me explain.

Four years ago I asked God to give me a walk with Him like the one I saw in another individual. I wanted His Word to come alive to me. I wanted to trust Him with abandon. I wanted to hear His voice and understand His leading in my life. Basically, I wanted a genuine, authentic walk with Him. One that was intimate and personal. When I asked, He answered! What I didn’t realize was there would be a process He would have to take me through in order for that to all be true in my life. The process would entail showing me all that hinders me from walking with Him in that way. Hindrances such as idols of my heart, wrong mindsets, lies I have embraced, and so on. I would have to see the places of bondage and addiction that kept me chained to my former way of living. I would have to learn how to let go of those things in order to take hold of His hand.

This morning is an eye opener for me. I am now seeing all the ways that God has actually been answering my prayer and I didn’t even know it! The difficulties, hurts, disappointments, lessons, and tiny steps of growth have been what He has been using to bring about what I had asked for. I wanted a magic wand waved and He wisely used real life!

Father, I praise You for hearing and answering my prayer. I now realize that every day the answer continues to unfold right in front of me! You once again have me in awe! Amen.

In His Time
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Wo-rGzx2OZk

He Must Increase

He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30 (New American Standard Bible)

John the Baptist not only spoke these words to his disciples but he believed them. He lived them. He knew preeminence and prominence were Christ’s alone. What had to decrease was his image, his ministry, his position, his standing, his focus, his message, his influence, his following, his time, his will. None of that was a threat to him but rather a foundation for rejoicing. He knew better than to have it any other way. Others had to be taught the truth that epitomized his life…that of following, loving, and worshiping Christ with abandon.

I have found that allowing Christ to increase leads to the decrease of other things. But it is so easy to mistakenly try to reverse that order. I can often times draw the false conclusion that if I make things less important than I will more easily make Christ more important. He reminds me that is earthly thinking. Kingdom thinking knows that drawing closer to Him will lead to drawing away from that which is in competition for my heart.

I am asking myself this morning as Christ increases, what or who must decrease in my life? The answer lies in who or what has the majority of my attention and affections. That which my mind is consumed with on a continual basis. It is always me as a whole that must decrease. But along with that it is other people, problems, situations, aspirations, interests, failures, areas of bondage, schedule, or idols of my heart. It is not a matter of behavior modification but rather internal transformation. It comes not by squelching or suppressing what is in me but rather in pursuing God with all my heart, soul, and mind. The more He increases the more the others will decrease. It is the natural result of seeing Him for all He is and Who He is.

I know what it is like to have a person or thing become so important to me that it becomes the center of my life. Christ reminds me that is His place alone. I know what it is like to engage my heart in the throws of an unhealthy, unbalanced relationship. Christ reminds me balance will only come as I stay in intimate relationship with Him. I know what it is like to place all my hopes and dreams on something or someone outside of Christ. He reminds me He alone must be the One I direct my heart and worship toward. I know what it is like to attempt to derive my identity, worth, and significance from relationships or accomplishments. Christ reminds He is the true Source for each of those areas. What I know and what He continually reminds me of is a huge aspect of this journey.

Father, increase! Amen.

Left Alone

Then all the disciples forsook him, and fled. Matthew 26:56 (King James Version)

While here on earth, Jesus experienced pain, hurt, and sorrow of great proportion. He knew betrayal at the hand of one He chose and loved. He knew the loneliness of being let down at a time of great need. And He knew the reality of being abandoned in the presence of His enemies. The fact that He knew this would happen made it no less painful. Oh the comfort and strength that comes when just one person will stick with you through the difficulties of life. Oh the agony when that does not happen.

Some who are reading this know what I am talking about. The unfaithfulness of a spouse, the betrayal of a business partner, the deliberate departure of a close friend, rejection, desertion, and abandonment. Few people know it in its entirety but even one time is enough to leave you emotionally crippled for years. The more significant the person is in your life the more devastating the effects. Some know the sting of rejection through no fault of their own. Others know it as a result of their personal actions. Whether it is the consequence of your own choices or the decision of the other person the effect is felt.

When I review my own life I realize I have never known deliberate, intentional rejection. But I have known the emotional withdrawal of significant people, the unavailability of friends, and the feeling of being forgotten. This was a big factor in my home growing up. When drinking and bars had the full attention of my parents the seeds of neglect, loneliness, and abandonment took root. Those seeds grew over the years and left me with harsh messages toward myself and others when I experienced even the normal let downs of life. God and I are still going through the process of seeing where the lies, misinterpretations, and feelings stem from. He is showing me the way to emotional freedom!

Whether it is actual forsaking or simply an emotional response because of personal baggage, healing begins when I take in Jesus’ words of I will never leave you or forsake you. I am with you always. The One who knows the pain of ultimate rejection and abandonment will never withdraw from His own. When no other human source is available He receives my tears, hears my cries, and keeps giving me His assuring words of, “I am here. I am not going anywhere. You are not alone.”

Father, thank you for your tender and constant presence. Amen.

Why Am I Still Thirsty?

Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” John 4:13,14 (New American Standard Bible)

This verse has often thrown me. It use to make me wonder what was wrong with me. I had trusted Christ as my Savior and yet I still thirsted…for many things. I was thirsty for friendships, thirsty for love, thirsty for affirmation, thirsty for a meaningful life, thirsty for acknowledgement….the list is endless. I thought this verse meant eternally satisfied and I knew I wasn’t! I thought it meant I would know the answers to all my questions and dilemmas but I didn’t. Over the years it became a verse that taunted me more than comforted me. It became illusive rather than embraceable. I often wondered how it applied to me. How could Jesus’ words to the woman of Samaria be whispered to my heart as well?

God began to slowly open my eyes. He made a single phrase stand out to me. WHOEVER DRINKS!!!! Yes, when I trusted Christ as my Savior some 30+ years ago He made available to me internally an artesian well for my refreshment. But just like my water supply at home, if I don’t drink from it I will get thirsty! Whereas if I drink water throughout the day thirst will not be an issue. I will walk satisfied. Once He showed me the necessity for continually drinking from His internal supply, my next question was “how?” How do I drink from this living water within me?

I am learning that my drinks come every time I open Scripture and take in truth, every time I trust Him, every time I cry out to Him in prayer, every time I ask for a filling of His Spirit, every time I look to Him to meet my needs instead of looking to people, every time I sense His presence, every time I let music minister to me, every time I digest truths from Christian books. It boils down to my interaction with my Heavenly Father.

Now, thirst is an issue when too much time lapses between my moments of drinking at the well. May I not allow that to happen!

Father, I have been to the other wells. I thought I was quenching my thirst but I was only getting more thirsty. Today I drink my fill of You. Saturate me! Amen.

A Day For Review

And Eli said to Samuel, "Go lie down, and it shall be if He calls you, that you shall say, 'Speak, LORD, for Your servant is listening.'" So Samuel went and lay down in his place. Then the LORD came and stood and called as at other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" And Samuel said, "Speak, for Your servant is listening." 1 Samuel 3:9,10 (New American Standard Bible)

God is still in the business of speaking to us when we poise ourselves to listen to him. I find though that every day is not necessarily a hearing of new things from Him. He knows my tendency to learn a lesson and then quickly want to move on to the next lesson to be learned. This morning He is letting me know this will be a day for review. I sense His insistence that I meditate upon the things He showed me yesterday. He wants the truths to go deeper within me. I can too easily settle for the cognitive aspect of taking in truth. I allow it to get into my mind but He is desirous that I also let it into my spirit. Transformation comes as I allowed the truth to become a part of my daily practice.

Yesterday was a day of “getting” the truth. Today begins the adventure of living out of that truth. What truth? That God is the One in control of my life and is bringing about all necessary changes. He knows that if I don’t fully embrace this aspect of Him, I will succumb to the skewed thinking and dangerous mindsets that can so easily trip me up. So He insists that I continue to rehearse the phrases He gave me as a way of reshaping my outlook on the circumstances of my own life.

Not only did He give me phrases but He also presented me with pictures that still hang on the walls of my mind. I can see them as clearly as the actual pictures that hang on the walls of my home. They are meant to reinforce the very truths He is instilling in me. How precious that He ministers to the visual person He created me to be. He knows exactly what words and images to use in order to help me understand, embrace, and live out of the life changing truth He is teaching me.

I rest in the fact that He is tailoring His instructions for me on an individual and daily basis. Line upon line and precept upon precept continue to be His method of teaching in the school of life. My part is to remain tender and teachable to His voice.

Father, I am touched by Your personal involvement in my life. You know how to get truth across to me. Help me to continue to listen, learn, and grow in the grace and knowledge of Yourself. Amen.

Waste Places

Indeed, the LORD will comfort Zion; He will comfort all her waste places and her wilderness He will make like Eden, And her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and sound of a melody. Isaiah 51:3 (New American Standard Bible)

There are times when life feels like a waste place, wilderness, and desert. Emotions are flat, a sense of hopelessness envelopes the soul, and one is filled with more questions than answers. It is a place I don’t like to be because it leaves me feeling like the bottom has fallen out and I begin to wonder if I am being thrown back to square one with God. Joy, gladness, thanksgiving, and music simply become the things I long for but seem far removed. Prayers are reduced to short phrases such as “Help me, God” and “Hold me, Father.” Reading the Bible seems lifeless. Attending church leaves you feeling more like an observer than a participant. You feel as though life is passing you by and you have suddenly been put in slow motion mode. Tears fall but you don’t always know why.

In the midst of the bleakness and darkness I have learned to do one thing….invite Jesus to be there with me. With Him I can freely share the confusing thoughts and insecurities. With Him I can be myself without the walls, masks, and false “okay” responses when asked how I am. He gives me permission to be silent when words elude me. He brings verses to mind when the light seems to have gone out on the path I walk. He gives me a song that will play over and over again in my mind as well as on my CD player. He gently reminds me that this too will pass.

When my mom was alive, she battled depression for most of her adult life. I well remember the empty stares and lifeless conversations. There are times I timidly ask God if that is what I am experiencing during the wilderness moments. For now, His answer is “No.” It is not depression but rather reminders that I live in a fallen world and possess a fallen nature. Expectations run high and disappointment runs deep but in the midst of it all He has promised to never leave me or forsake me. He encourages me to continue in the things I have learned and to keep looking to Him for my identity, security, and hiding place. It is a slow process at times but the promises of joy and gladness keep me hopeful.

Some will read these thoughts and see them as dark and foreboding. Others will relate and see themselves profoundly. With the latter ones I extend my hand in fellowship and understanding.

Father, be the Healer and Helper of our souls today. Help us sense Your presence and Your peace at this very moment. Amen.

Who Are We Listening To?

Thus says the king, "Do not let Hezekiah deceive you ....nor let Hezekiah make you trust in the LORD...do not listen to Hezekiah." Isaiah 36:14-16 (New American Standard Bible)

We have to be so careful who we listen to. Everything that is said to us must be filtered through truth. The Assyrian messengers were seeking to chip away at those things which would hinder Israel from giving in to their requests. So much was being questioned and the accusations were arrows which were meant to wound and defeat. They were bringing in to question the worthiness of God's man, God's message, and God's character. Planting seeds of doubt was the same tactic Satan used with Eve. We must know the truth and hold it up against all attacks.

When a person's words line up with Scripture there is a foundation established that allows for truth to be given and received. No one wants to be deceived. It is a heart wrenching experience to wake up one day and realize you trusted the wrong source or stood on the wrong foundation.

It is one thing to be the victim of a financial scam or to purchase something that did not live up to its claim. But the worst case scenario is when the deception wreaks havoc on our view of God and the Christian life. Each of us wants to believe we are being told the truth about God when we hear a sermon, listen to a speaker, or read a book. Beth Moore says, "If the teaching you are sitting under is causing your view of God to get smaller, you are being deceived." So true!!!!

I want to surround myself with people who have a huge view of God. I want their excitement, passion, and love for God and the Scriptures to infect and affect me. For years I knew God could do anything but believed He was unwilling to do most things. I had such an extremely small view of His heart. But now I do two things that grow my view. I ask God to show me the truth about His heart and character in Scripture and I soak up as much teaching as I can that helps to enlarge my view of Him.

The Assyrian messengers had it all wrong. Their words could not survive when placed under the microscope of truth.

Father, let me ever live in the truth about You. Amen.

The One Who Holds Our Hand

The steps of a man are established by the LORD, and He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the LORD is the One who holds his hand. Psalm 37:23-25 (New American Standard Bible)

I love the thought within this verse. It shows human tendencies and Divine intervention! Within the Christian life there are strides of victory as well as times of faltering and falling. Ask any mountain climber to show you his bumps and bruises as he tells of his uphill adventures. I assure you, he has them to show! He will also let you know it is par for the course. There is no way to avoid them all. The same is true for any of us who have a walk of faith in this world. We will have our share of “falling” but the LORD is definitely the One who holds our hand!

When my children were small and learning to walk, they never went completely down if I had a hold of their hand. God wants me to see that picture of Him each day. Holding my hand, standing guard, watching over me. He is attentive to every need that arises and every situation that presents itself. This personal aspect of Him touches me deeply this morning. I drink in the reminder and it quenches the thirst of my spirit!

I sensed His hand holding me yesterday as I waded through thoughts and issues with Him. I took comfort in the fact that He already knew the fears and misgivings that had welled up within me. It became a time of taking Him up on His invitation to talk to Him about the very things that were bothering me. I didn’t have to hold back or hide any details. All the while I talked, I sensed no surprise or condemnation on His part. Honest dialogue with God has got to be part of every day’s experiences. It is part of the climb.

I don’t know about anyone else, but when I have been through a time of candid conversation with God, I come away amazed at the result. It is a time once again whereby He assures me He has a hold of my hand and is not going to let me go completely down. His grip is secure through it all.

So for any who would harbor secret thoughts about God, themselves, or others, find some time today to confide in Him. He will hold your hand and listen with interest. How gracious that the One who knows us so intimately still desires to hear the sound of our voice. May we each walk through this day feeling His hand on us.

Father, keep showing me the aspects of Yourself that I have often missed. Your tenderness and attentiveness astound me. Amen.

Reclaiming Who He Made

Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" Genesis 3:9 (New American Standard Bible)

Where was Adam? Hiding! Denying his actions! Living his life the opposite of how God intended for him to live! I can relate! All of us can at one time or another. God’s heart-probing questions throughout today have uncovered A LOT! Tonight, I sit in stunned amazement at not only what He has shown me but also what He wants me to start doing. I have spent the day trying to discern my own melancholy mood and tonight God has helped me to see the root and reason for it. I’ve been hiding, denying, and living opposite! Let me explain.

I have been trying to deny the person God made me to be while attempting to become the person I thought I was suppose to be. The bottom line? I was miserable. I am a people person! I love people and I enjoy connecting with them. A painful situation last year caused me to think it might be better if I shut this part of myself down and become a little less open to relationships. That was suppose to insure no further pain or disappointment. What it actually did was hinder me from enjoying an aspect of life that God instilled within me to enjoy! It would be like a nature lover deciding to never venture outside again. Or a mountain climber to avoid any more high altitude moments. Or an artist to put up his brushes and paints in order to devote the rest of his life to coal mining. Setting aside what they have a passion for in exchange for something that isn’t really meant for them.

Are there risks involved if I open myself up to relationships again? Absolutely! But I think back to the many precious relationships God has blessed me with and I wouldn’t trade what I gained from them for the world. There are bound to be goodbyes along the way and painful separations. I will have to continue to guard against emotional dependency. But I don’t want to miss the treasure for fear of possible pain. I well remember that for me the most painful separation came out of the most precious interaction. I know that God has many more friendships and relationships ahead as I learn to trust Him for them and see them for the gifts they are.

I am ready to stop denying this God-given part of myself and to start enjoying life again. I am not sure what will come of it but it certainly has to be better than what I have been experiencing for the last number of months!

Father, I feel alive again as I open myself up to all that You have in store for me. Thank you for who You created me to be! Amen.

When There is None to Help

Be not far from me, for trouble is near; for there is none to help. Psalm 22:11 (New American Standard Bible)

For any who have looked in places or to sources other than God, these words will eventually be their own. There are so many verses in the Psalms in which David is expressing the thoughts of my own heart. His cries for deliverance and help, his hunger for God, his feelings of loneliness and distress, his fears and insecurities, and his realization that God is his refuge and strength. Often are the times I relate with him!

People can do a lot of things for me. They can cheer me up, encourage me, walk with me through issues, comfort me, pray for me, advise me, draw my attention back toward God, and just be there for me. But I am coming to realize what they cannot do is deliver me from the troubles of life or the turmoils of my internal world.

There are 367 verses in the Old Testament alone that speak of deliverance. Most refer to deliverance from troubles, enemies, sin, or weaknesses. In those cases, it is God who is doing the delivering or being asked to do the delivering. For they saw what we need to see….God is the only true Helper and Deliverer! Thinking we can do it ourselves or that we can find someone to do it for us will eventually lead to disappointment and discouragement.

That use to bother me but any more it becomes a life lesson to me because it brings me back to the truth that God is the One I need. David said it this way many times, “You, O Lord, are my Rock, my Fortress, my Deliverer, my Strength, my Helper, my Healer, my Redeemer, my Hiding Place, my Shelter, my Restorer, my Protector, my Counselor, my Guide, my Instructor, my Stronghold, my Defense, my God…..my All in all!” Within any situation or circumstance, that list needs to become my personal mantra. No one else’s name can or should be slipped into it! No one!

Once this becomes settled in my heart and mind, it will be easier for me to see the place people ARE suppose have. It will no longer be a “balancing act” for me to see when I should seek out the help and advice of others. For now, that still is not clear and I am looking to God teach me the truth. He alone knows what hinders and blocks me from being free in this area.

Father, David knew how to cry out to You for EVERYTHING! I want to live my life like that. Teach me and change me! Amen.

Watching, Waiting, and Being Heard

Therefore, I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. Micah 7:7 (King James Version)

My actions follow decisions I make in my mind. It is interesting how many phrases are found in scripture that begin with "I will." I will bless the Lord at all times. I will lift up mine eyes to the hills. To name just a couple.

In Micah 7:7 I see two "I wills" and one "God will." Micah had a predetermined plan for when the difficulties of life arose. Problems are inevitable in this life. We cannot escape pain, suffering, loss, or disappointment. Sorrows cannot always be avoided but we can choose ahead of time what our course of action and attitude will be when the storms of life do come crashing in on us.

First, we can look to God. Watch expectantly as the New American Standard Bible says. Look to Him for direction, provision, protection, security, encouragement, counsel, empowerment, intervention, and rest. He can give us the pioneer spirit to continue on in the adventures and valleys of life.

Then we can wait on Him. Scripture says, "They that wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength." The children of Israel fastened their eyes on the pillar of fire by night and pillar of cloud by day. They waited for movement in the sky before moving forward on the earth. Waiting on God is not wasted time or blind faith. It is wisely aligning myself with God's timetable and plan. The waiting time is productive when spent drawing close to Him, recounting His faithfulness in the past, praying without ceasing, and standing on the truths learned so far. As I wait on God I can rest assured He is either preparing me or preparing others for what lies ahead.

The most assuring words in this verse are the promise that my God will hear me. He not only hears my words but He understands my thoughts and motives as well. I find that His desire is for me to be honest with Him. Fears, doubts, discouragement, and confusion always super-size themselves when buried in the deep places of my heart. They tend to dissipate as I voice them out loud to God either verbally or in written form.

Waiting does not mean inactivity. It simply means to continue at the task at hand until He opens the way for movement forward. That is why I am so encouraged by my Bible ancestors and the precious examples they left for me to follow.

Father, how comforting to know that my words to You never fall on deaf hears, inattention, bored looks, or sighs of exasperation. Amen.

Fashioned by His Hands

This is the day the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 (New King James Version)

An email to a friend last night revealed disappointment and discontentment. Not with her but with the way things weren’t. I was begrudging the fact that the people I want in my life aren’t. For one reason or another, they are no longer involved. I no sooner sent the email when God began to speak to my heart about that issue and my attitude toward it. He challenged me with the question, “What if I chose to live each day with anticipation and expectation of what He had for me?” This meant approaching each day with an eagerness to see who God would cross my path with and what experiences He would bring into THAT day. Wishing for and wanting what is not mine, robs me of the joy and rejoicing that would be mine if I chose it.

I went to sleep with that thought on my mind and this morning I was awakened with the words of Psalm 118:24. Today is a day God has fashioned. Just like He created the world, He has made THIS day. He has put His time, energy, love, and creativity into each part. Today has been designed with care, not just randomly thrown together. Within this day will be opportunities to minister to others as well as be ministered to. I don’t want to miss any of it! I don’t want to continue sacrificing the day on my own altar of wishes, wants, and longings. I want to cultivate a heart of contentment, satisfaction, and rejoicing in the day with which God gifts me. That is only possible as I begin to live in the NOW and to practice His presence TODAY!

While the molding of this day is God’s doing, the rejoicing and being glad involves my will. It is a conscious decision I must make and a choice I must embrace. The wonderful part is that even when it is difficult, He is willing to give me the grace to rejoice! He can help me enter this day with wide open eyes of wonder and amazement. He has beauty, surprises, and treasures just waiting to be seen and discovered. How His heart must ache when I miss them due to wrong focus or desires. This is not meant to be just an ordinary day, although it may be filled with ordinary moments. It is meant to be an extraordinary day because it has been designed by an extraordinary God!

Do I still miss the people I was thinking of last night? Yes! Do I still wish they were a part of my life and journey? Absolutely! But God’s ways are higher than my ways and my heart is resting in that truth today!

Father, I confess to You my covetousness and discontentment. How You long for me to receive the gift You have prepared for me in this day! May there be no more missing of any moments. Amen.

Knowing the Truth

The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: “ Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Jeremiah 31:3 (New King James Version)

I am so glad that God let us know the many things about Himself and His heart! He did not wait until eternity to tell us of His love and care. He has made sure it is mentioned on pretty much every page of Scripture. His words are meant to minister to us and reassure us as we walk our path of life. I am delighted He chose to speak plainly of His love, forgiveness, presence, purposes, protection, attention, acceptance, and desires. It has never been His intent that I go through life unaware and unaccepting of His spoken truth. It can never be said of Him, “But you didn’t tell me how you felt!”

It is difficult to go through life desiring the love and acceptance of someone and not feeling that you have it. Or to know that you had it at one time and now believe it is no longer there. While there are times when that may very well be the case, I am coming to realize how often my perception is my reality. The person may in fact care deeply for me but if I believe the opposite than I will live out of my own belief and I will miss the joy of living in the truth. I am a long way from wholeness in this area, but I am choosing to take the first step in admitting my problem is more my perception than it is the other person.

I marvel that at one time, for years, my perception of God was such that I couldn’t receive all the truths I listed in the earlier part of this devotional. When my view of Him was so skewed, it affected my relationship with Him and response to Him. I was blind and deaf to the things He was saying in His Word. As He has opened my eyes and my ears to the truth about Himself, I am able to believe and receive that truth. It is what is changing me!

God is using that experience to give me hope that the same can be true of human relationships. Just as He revealed to me the harm my false perceptions of Him were doing and the freedom that resulted when I embraced the truth, He is now showing me the harm my perceptions of others is doing and the liberty that will be mine as I embrace the truth about them. Past lessons learned always become precious examples of what is possible in present situations.

Father, it is easy but harmful to walk in deception. Keep showing me where my thinking is off. Help me to live out my days with open eyes and ears to the truth about You, others, and myself. Amen.